Hello friends,
hope all is good at your end. My end? Pretty windy out there with spring coming round the corner. It can be really scary going out in the wind with such long hair, that is why you see my profile picture everywhere with the plaited hair most of the time. I mean, it can be like a horror movie at times with the wind and loose hair, even bees get lost in it, it’s like, what’s that forest’s name they all talk about in Harry Potter where you know who also hangs around at times? Hum!? Oh! Yes, the forbidden forest, even Aragog had mistaken my hair for the forbidden forest once. That day was not a pretty sight. Once the wind has picked up so much speed that I swear I felt like I was sweeping heaven with it! If Katy Perry was standing next to me that day, she’d probably be like Swish fish fish!
Oh! Well just as there are a thousand reasons why I can wear my hair loose, I have just about found a thousand reasons not to… because of the number of knots I got tied up in… One day, it took one hour to get the bee out of my hair, you probably could have caught up on ten series of Maya the bee during that time. Try getting into a convertible with long loose hair in a hurry, heading to work, pressing the auto power on your window when you’ve rushed into the parking space like a racer, then you look up for a second, and you’re like, “Hey you, what the hell are you doing up there stuck in the window like a curtain on a rail?” Countless stories, that I can probably make a YouTube video of fifty crazy things that could even become a liability for you with long hair. I swear guys, if you ever want to know how an animal with a tail feels, ask a girl with very long hair and she’ll tell you all about it. It’s like looking after a mini-me.
Ok, enough of the rant… you probably can tell it’s a bad hair day (but I still have unconditional love for mini-me).
Alright so here we are a thousand reasons why… You probably know where I’m heading by reading the first two paragraphs.
You know in life we have a thousand reasons (or more) why we could do something or not, a thousand reasons why we want to stay in a relationship or not, a thousand reasons for every decision we’re about to make and by picking one decision from those thousand reasons we are where we are today. We have created our own outcomes; this is one hundred percent true (but it’s not entirely our fault). We all are born kings and queens, Jesus or a prophet in whichever culture you’re in but we’ve chosen to believe otherwise because we believe we don’t possess riches or power, when the truth is, we do. We have so much power within us that we live believing less of ourselves, choosing lower vibrational thoughts, choosing less, choosing a thought from lack within ourselves, our thoughts that affect our attitudes which affects our actions.
You know feeling pain and fear has resulted in why so many people choose the thoughts they choose. To not feel pain like that again (or to not get through something you’ve witnessed) can change the way we make decisions forever, but just the same, the positive side of feeling pain is one where you alter the direction of your life by creating a purpose where you end up healing people or finding a sense of meaning. This is ultimately a conversation of the positive or the negative, choosing the thought that is of a high frequency (positive) and it’s another way of showing us how positive decisions and actions affect our lives and how negative decisions and actions affect our lives. The only example I can think of that will really make you think and say, “Cricky! How can one remain optimistic even through that!”
Basically, even through a relationship with a lot going on in the past (even I am saying now, how the hell was that possible?) to keep optimism and belief in your life even if you don’t know how you’re going to come out of the situation each time you’re stitched up into a new phase or circumstance. The fact is that the resilient of most people are those who choose optimistic thoughts and decisions even through the hardest times of their lives. Naturally, you’re inclined to pick the most optimistic thoughts if this is how you led your life most of the time, and in my mind’s eye, I kept telling myself even in the most hopeless situations that I got to make this work out and I got to turn it around for the better. The truth is as much as you want to turn things around and you do, it’s also up to others in whatever partnership you’re in to choose empowering thoughts (positive thoughts).
The red flags I missed in the relationship where I ended up in domestic violence was that all of my ex-partner’s (sorry, I don’t believe he even deserves that word) friends were telling him to not enter into this relationship which created more fear in him than average or below average. The continuous tale being told by most that I am a foreigner, I am a “pija”(Spanish word for a posh girl) and the one that dominated the relationship from the beginning to the end was them saying I am going to use him for the papers (getting legal) so he shouldn’t trust me. Throughout the relationship, I had not only an argument with one person in the relationship but an argument with more than a dozen people’s stories that filled his head. One minute everything was moving smoothly, the next everything we worked on was smashed into pieces. The more that happened the more he and other persons externally wanted to have control over me and my thoughts, actions, ideas, decisions, and finally my entire life and even that which I built on my own i.e. by taking over my contacts, and all the people I was either in touch with or very close to. I was told, “No more girls nights,” then the girls behaved odd (because they were messaged behind my back) and if I got along with a girl really well, that was sabotaged, then I was told, “I could have no male friends,” then you can image how the rest of the relationship went.
The above paragraph is a vital example maybe even the core of the apple of what I want to talk about in this article A thousand reasons. You can find a thousand reasons to feel afraid, insecure, doubt, mistrust, and you can continue like this or you can find a thousand reasons why at the end there will be stronger love, better foundations, genuine friends, a happier and stable life, fun, adventure, excitement etc. The choices are up to you but if positive choices are not aligned to yours through who you spend your life and time with change has to happen before either one can/will be overpowered. The question remains how long will your thousands of positive reasons keep the optimism up to the thousand and god knows how many reasons one will make to get you to buy (not necessarily buy this could be a subconscious habit) into a lower frequency?
I believe that brings us to the last part, by choosing thousands of positive reasons to do the right thing, not what is easy but what is right is living life on a higher frequency, the more you choose the long run, through the optimism rather than the lower frequency where decisions come from fear, doubt, temptation, control, etc, you’re much likely able to achieve your goals through whatever situation turns up in your life i.e. ups and downs. Apart from your goals, you’re likely to live a happier and authentic life.
By choosing one thousand reasons why you’re quite likely to still keep moving forward even if times are calling for crawling rather than quitting. It’s imperative that you take full stock of your external situation on a realistic level, without the self-sabotaging.
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by purchasing my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.
