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How cheap is a South African’s life? A country where you can hire a hitman for anywhere from 5 000 rands (£274,35) upwards. From what I present to you in this article 58 lives murdered a day in most cases means life is worth 0 rands in South Africa

How cheap is a South African’s life? A country where you can hire a hitman for anywhere from 5 000 rands (£274,35) upwards. From what I present to you in this article 58 lives murdered a day in most cases means life is worth 0 rands in South Africa

Hello, How are you today? Hope you’re having a lovely weekend. Here we are exploring another reality in South Africa. Actually, in my whole time growing up in South Africa, I have come across stories of people I casually knew that just mysteriously died. There were stories of people that went to the same school…

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While it’s often said and still being said that Africa’s population is increasing the truth is that many South Africans don’t want to have children because they don’t have time nor money.

While it’s often said and still being said that Africa’s population is increasing the truth is that many South Africans don’t want to have children because they don’t have time nor money.

While it’s often said and still being said that Africa’s population is increasing the truth is that many South Africans don’t want to have children because they don’t have time nor money. Is this the only country where there is a decrease in childbirths year by year? Let’s look at all the reason why people…

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Did he invest in you and did you invest in him? How long did it take? Did you just give him all your trust just like that, and did he give you all his trust just like that? How long did it take? How do you know you’ve trusted the right person? The investing and trust-building don’t ever end…

Did he invest in you and did you invest in him? How long did it take? Did you just give him all your trust just like that, and did he give you all his trust just like that? How long did it take? How do you know you’ve trusted the right person? The investing and trust-building don’t ever end…

Hello, How are you today? I hope you have had a lovely weekend. I was here thinking about what will help you; I dug through a few things that I thought I could do with listening to on YouTube and at the same time I thought of something that I thought would be good for…

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Those who walk alone hear their intuition clearly even if they wished they were supported “It’s what she had when she became a Roamer… it was her intuition that made her destiny…”

Those who walk alone hear their intuition clearly even if they wished they were supported “It’s what she had when she became a Roamer… it was her intuition that made her destiny…”

Those who walk alone hear their intuition clearly even if they wished they were supported “It’s what she had when she became a Roamer… it was her intuition that made her destiny…” 22:32 6/9/2019 T. Dench Patel Hello readers, Hope you’re okay this Friday evening. I can’t wait for the weekend, not that I get…

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Confirmation bias

Confirmation Bias

Hello, How are you today? If you’re not familiar with confirmation bias, you’re probably asking, “hmm, what’s this topic about?” Okay, so it’s Friday, woohoo… and you know what? I love talking about this topic. I am going to introduce you to someone as well. Trust me; you want to meet her. It’s in your…

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Abundance

Abundance

Hello, How are you today? Hope you’re having a lovely day wherever you are in the world. Bless you all and hope that your life right now will be filled with abundance after you read this article. Now if you are sitting here reading this article, then that’s not by chance that you are here.…

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Willpower

Willpower

Hello lovely people, Hope you had a good weekend or even still having one right now. Hope you had a great time with your family and friends, but most of all I wish you were your authentic self and have some kind of awareness of the habits you want to break in your life, especially…

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Mental Health - South Africa’s culture of violence is the cause of the increasing number of suicides. Violence in South Africa equals with those of war zones according to SAFMH

Mental Health – South Africa’s culture of violence is the cause of the increasing number of suicides. Violence in South Africa equals with those of war zones according to SAFMH

Hello, How are you today? Hope you are doing great and finding as many positive reasons daily to keep your spirits up. Keep it up; you gain nothing from telling yourself negative things. Yesterday, I was told about how some men went to a Sangoma (witch doctor) in South Africa to get confidence to rob…

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Ego, pride and humility

Ego, pride and humility

Hello, amazing and awesome people. Hope you’re doing well today. I wanted to write about this topic not only to help you but to keep it here in my blog posts as a reminder for you and I as we keep reaching for the stars with small steps and for others achieving their goals in…

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Compassion

Hello lovely people. I hope you are well on this beautiful day. Firstly, I send you lots of love and blessings because all us souls are trying to find our way while some are going through some nightmares which are so dark that it is so hard to see better days. So, I send compassion,…

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Wednesday blues

Wednesday Blues

I have no idea what happened today, as I spent one hour trying to figure out what to write about. I found a title but can’t seem to catch the word sleigh, that I’m trying to keep myself awake with one clout, but I’m still having a blackout.   I’ve been working some really late…

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The blame game

The blame game

When I was living in Spain, this was something that caught my attention. In 2009 the economic crisis hit so many people, and for me, it was the first time to see how this has affected people in first world countries; the very first time. Sure, it has affected me too, but I already came…

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Written lies

Written lies

Page 43 “Written lies   I feel like a paper used by a pen, filled with written lies, sleepless nights, because of your stained ink in my mind. The blotches of ink so smudge, smudged like the teardrop destroyed on my cheek.   Folded words become unfolded, than melt to show truth. Torn into little…

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No need to be an Indian to get an arranged marriage. The system forces you to get one overseas. If you want a “beating”, it is likely to happen. There’s nothing put in place for a single woman seeking independence in her own right easily.

No need to be an Indian to get an arranged marriage. The system forces you to get one overseas. If you want a “beating”, it is likely to happen. There’s nothing put in place for a single woman seeking independence in her own right easily

I have no idea how I came to this article, hmmm okay let me be frank with you. You know why I came to write this article? I just never thought about this topic until a week ago and what reminded me is this article that I came across right about now. https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/travel/2019/07/no-plans-for-new-zealand-to-reciprocate-visa-free-travel-for-south-africans.html If you’re…

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Hindu or Muslim? Why Indians can’t seem to stand as one race till today in South Africa? I can’t speak for the rest of the world...

Hindu or Muslim? Why Indians can’t seem to stand as one race till today in South Africa? I can’t speak for the rest of the world…

I gave this article this title because South Africa is still a very racist country. We’ve gained independence in 1994 and can’t even set an example for other countries considering our history that I, as a traveller, faced racism abroad. Racism has followed me throughout my life. The worst thing was that I left South…

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What is the Soul?

What is the Soul?

Okay, so after finishing off a bit of detail around my books, I was thinking of my next article. I went to YouTube to see if I will see something that will remind me of the list of things I wanted to write about which lately I’ve forgotten to note down. The minute I got…

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Hit it and take it

Hit it and take it

Have you ever caught the air with your body? I try to do it all the time, but really, it happens once in a lifetime.   You know that feeling? The one when you hit it right and just take it… You know, that feeling when the body and air becomes one When you actually…

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The 23 successful suicides a day in South Africa while 460 attempt to take their own lives

The 23 successful suicides a day in South Africa while 460 attempt to take their own lives

According to the World Health Organisation, a suicide in South Africa takes place every 40 minutes while every 3 seconds, there has been an attempt to commit suicide. Take a look a this link http://www.sadag.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1840&Itemid=153 South Africa is the 6th highest when it comes to suicides in the whole of Africa. So roughly 800 000…

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Are you an insecure person?

Are you an insecure person?

Before you read this article, understand that you’re not the only one out there who is insecure. Do not be hard on yourself as you might not have all of the habits below. I’ve written it to bring you awareness, however, please read until the end. An insecure person doesn’t ever feel safe, comfortable, genuine,…

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Self-blame

Self-blame

Today, Sunday 9th June 2019, there was a funeral of a child. This has hit home to a lot of parents with kids out there. The mother of the child went to a company who made boxes. She told the child to stay in the car for one minute and that she was going to…

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Narcissists

Narcissists

What is the definition of a narcissist? A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. A narcissist can almost be compared to a wolf in a sheep’s skin. It’s tough to spot a narcissist because they’re always seeking admiration and don’t have the ability to be vulnerable hence,…

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Beyond Dreams

Beyond Dreams

I see white birds shine like the light The music is a song played by the wind. The powder, the snow shine like little lights, so bright, Trees tall with their roots in the ocean, a world redefined…   Where it’s one planet but feels like two, where humans travel on birds. The sky is…

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What is your definition of God?

What is your definition of God?

I was watching some motivational videos and stumbled across a video where Oprah Winfrey interviews several people and asks them what their definition of God is. Wayne Dyer Wayne Dyer said, “God is the highest place within each and every one of us. It’s our divine self.” Wayne Dyer was an author and a motivational…

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Having boundaries

Having boundaries

I’d want to start with what I took from Iyanla Vanzant: People violate your boundaries because you don’t tell them how to behave in your life and they run a mock in your life because they don’t have clear boundaries. Here’s another one, in case you’ve missed this article https://tdenchpatel.com/sayings-advice-or-certain-things-said-by-people-that-changed-the-dynamics-for-me/ It’s not selfish to put…

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Are you living your truth?

Are you living your truth?

What do you think of when you see this question? Do you think that this means you have to be more i.e. on a grand scale? Nope, you can start with living your truth today with the small things in life. What do I mean by living your truth? Living your truth equals living your…

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Not one or the other

Not one or the other

While I was growing up in the apartheid regime Indians seems to always be in the middle. Not to black for something or not too white for something. It became frustrating especially when you had nothing to do with apartheid. My challenges were the same as any middle-class white South African my age after we…

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Profanity

What is profanity? (taken from Wikipedia) “Profanity is socially offensive language, which may also be called curse words or swearing (British English), cuss words (American English and Canada), swear words, crude language, coarse language, oaths, blasphemous language, vulgar language, lewd language, choice words, or expletives. Used in this sense, profanity is language that is generally considered by certain parts of a culture to be strongly impolite, rude or offensive. It can show a debasement of someone or something, or be…

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Communication or Control?

Communication or control?

Okay, so do you remember the number of times he/she gets upset, angry or even annoyed when you ask him/her where she/he is going? This question asked so often is really about the angle the person who is asking you this question is coming from. If you’re in a toxic relationship then it’s highly possible…

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What is your definition of success?

What is your definition of success?

This article was on my mind for a long time. I’ve seen so much and experienced so much that I want to give you a perspective about success which you might not have ever considered before. Feel free to comment after you read this article so we can exchange notes on your definition of success…

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Self-expression

Self-expression

I have decided to write an article about this as this is still a big topic in patriarchal societies even today. Recently I have come from a very open and expressive life which I’ve lived for eighteen years to the eastern culture. A few people are concerned about me sharing myself with the public. Growing…

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Marriage or living together?

Marriage or living together?

I come from a culture where if things go wrong in a marriage the woman is tainted and not the man. It seems as though women are the ones who are expected to make the changes and not men because of history i.e. it’s a man’s world and so women are replaceable. I know women…

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Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking

You know the hardest part of not knowing if you’re a positive thinker is when you’re young or get to your teens. Growing up in South Africa, a number of elements needed to be in place before one can really go out there and start from zero. It was hard to apply positive thinking especially…

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Trust and Intuition child to adulthood

Trust and Intuition – Child to Adulthood

As children, we are influenced largely by our peers, families and adults. We are still learning how to manage relationships, emotions, thoughts, plans, our actions, beliefs, feelings, pain, joy, excitement and sadness. I’m sure there’s more to this list. Children are used to being told no as often as a dog gets told “No.” Raising…

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African Blue

African Blue

I sat there looking up at the sky, As the flock of birds go by. The tall palm trees against the blue, feels like I’ve got the ocean view.   Am I in a dream? The reality feels surreal… Though it feels great to be the beacon, the beam.   My people and the dog,…

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Unconditional love

Unconditional love

You know when I first left for my travels to the United Kingdom at the age of twenty-one, I thought that everything was better in the United Kingdom compared to South Africa. I mean while growing up and meeting people who came from the United States of America and the United Kingdom, they made it…

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Giving up is not an option

Why giving up isn’t an option

For many years I didn’t understand fully the concept of not giving up and pondered for a long time about my passion for writing. I was twenty-six years old when I started playing the guitar properly. I knew long before this moment that I wanted to learn how to play flamenco music. At that time,…

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Trust the process

Trust the process

Okay, so many people have hard times and if you are having a hard time right now then this article is most definitely for you. If not, then this should be enlightening. There’s a very big reason why you are going through all of this. Look, you sometimes think your story is the worst possible…

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The power of listening

The power of listening

I had no idea that listening would teach me so much until my voice got handcuffed. How many of us are forced to listen when freedom of speech is easily taken for granted and can’t be taken off someone unless there is an unfortunate turn of events? The answer to this is that very few…

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You are enough

You are enough

I have travelled around the world and seen so many amazing things as well as so many things that you’d be shocked to know but I won’t travel to certain countries on my own. Today I watched a video of a girl who was not even in her third day in India and wanted to…

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How meditation saved my life

How meditation saved my life

After leaving my ex-partner in the year 2013 I’ve faced challenges which quite frankly I had no idea existed. When you read my book The South African: True Colours the challenges there compared to the challenges with this particular experience is something I still wonder about. If there was ever a time where I thought…

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The power of affirmations

The power of affirmations

I’ve discovered affirmations in the year 2014 after coming out of a relationship with domestic violence. I didn’t know how much I struggled on an emotional and mental level. I knew I wouldn’t take a physical beating or a slap but one thing I was oblivious to, was the mental and emotional blackmail I was…

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The only way you can bring your children up equally is if society breaks the gender gap

The only way you can bring your children up equally is if society breaks the gender gap

I had a privilege to see some of these changes and read the following articles which you might not have got to read. Check out these links below. http://theconversation.com/beyond-pink-and-blue-the-quiet-rise-of-gender-neutral-toys-95147 https://www.standard.co.uk/shopping/esbest/kids/toys-games/best-gender-neutral-toys-a3980866.html https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/46530419 https://www.independent.co.uk/news/campaign-for-gender-neutral-toys-wins-scientific-research-award-a6861851.html I’ve taken this from my book The South African: True Colours (Book based on a true story) This was from the chapter “Now…

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The relationship that you have with your mother or sisters or father and brothers while growing up plays a big part in your romantic relationships in the future

The relationship that you have with your mother or sisters or father and brothers while growing up plays a big part in your romantic relationships in the future

Over time I have met women whose fathers or men whose mothers were either alcoholic, abusive (physically or mentally), lost their employment, had a marital breakdown, depression, ill health and loss of custody (I’m sure there must have been other cases too) from all over the world. I also know tons of women and read…

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Are you an educated woman? Does that mean you’re educated in your romantic relationships?

Are you an educated woman? Does that mean you’re educated in your romantic relationships?

Over the last forty years, there has been an uprise in the number of educated women in Britain. Take a look at the statistics on this link https://www.cnbc.com/2017/11/21/women-are-better-educated-than-their-husbands-but-men-still-earn-more.html Here is another link https://www.ifs.org.uk/publications/12951 Over the last eighteen years or so there has been an uprise in the number of educated women in third world countries…

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Mother Nature

Mother nature

Mother nature is a powerful force that can get a country, nation, even the world to stop. Today she’s laid the white blanket flat on the trees, roads, houses and rooftop.   Trees, leaves, and branches are weighed down, but now and then she’ll be the breeze to ruffle them off. She’s arrived so elegantly…

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Victim to Victory

Victim to Victory

There are so many people living in victim mode that they have no idea how much they are cheating themselves of for the small benefits they get from choosing to live as a victim. Playing the victim allows you to get away with bigger responsibilities, makes you feel that you know better and that you’re…

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The power of vulnerability

The Power of Vulnerability

Isn’t it hard to bear it all? Isn’t it harder to bear it all when you know the personality of certain people around you and the level that they are at in their spiritual lives compared to yours? You damn right this is a risk i.e. to show yourself at your weakest point. Some of…

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Taking risks

Taking risks

For a second imagine yourself coming out of an egg and finding yourself amongst a lot of movement. You follow who is in front of you, next to you, on top of you and everyone is rushing to go somewhere. You have no idea, but your instinct is driving you towards the water. You try…

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What story are you telling yourself?

What story are you telling yourself?

It is ultimately the stories that one tells themselves that gives them the life they got and walk through life elegantly. Living in five countries, travelling to over a dozen, immersing into a new life which was different from the culture I was brought up in has allowed me to observe both the world outside…

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Tango Teezer

Tango Teezers

Original Version (A mix of five languages)Check out the news page for the 6th of January 2019 for the artistic version of this poem.Below the original version is the English version.A day where I felt like painting words with poetry“En un día abondonada” Tango TeezersThey are envuelto like eine chocolate, noir draped in rouge, ils…

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Is your family codependent? What is your role?

Is your family codependent? What is your role? Who does it affect?

What is codependency? (According to Wikipedia) Codependency is a controversial concept for a dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. I have seen a…

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The Red Kites

The Red Kites

The first time I heard the calling, was when I looked up at the sky that morning. How many times I looked up and saw the birds leaving, and sometimes I’d just look out the window and start daydreaming…   I’d catch myself when they both made eights or circles, and then wondered if they…

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If someone only told you...

If someone only told you…

My book The South African: True Colours was written for many reasons and one of those reasons is the title of this article and everything I write on this blog. Throughout my life and even now I still say, “If only someone told me…” See most people think you already know what they know and…

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What if my child is LGBTQ?

What if my child is LGBTQ?

Just in case you are unfamiliar with the term LGBTQ it means lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer or questioning. Yesterday I was sitting with a group of girls whom I practised French with. We decided to meet at the local coffee shop which they classed as “good enough” being French (saying this with a…

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Change

Change

You know it is hard to often break away from patterns, but it is even harder to break away from the patterns your family know you to have. It is almost as if these patterns give you an identity, a uniqueness, and a personality. When you’re in a culture that expects you to do things…

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Authentic Power

Authentic Power

So here you are… you’re coming out of high school and heading towards college, maybe university, maybe straight into a job or you’re becoming an apprentice. Your school might have provided you with lunch or your parents packed lunch for you. Perhaps you got pocket money or not. The average child would usually get what…

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Messing around with words

Messing around with words

25th November 2018 20:34 I was always a big dreamer. So many said, “You will never…”   In 1997 I started writing poetry. I didn’t tell anybody.   I had a pen and paper under my pillow, and I’d think about the world, my dreams… at that place, we called Willow.   Mobile phones were…

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Jealousy and Class

Jealousy and Class

This topic popped up this morning for me and I said, “Yes, I have a lot to say about it.” Oh boy! Where should I start? Personally, I can tell you how scared I’ve become of people when I realised that jealousy had and has fingers… Oh, yes … you know what I mean. I…

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Your purpose are not your children

Your children are not your purpose

Recently someone told me this, “I am giving all the opportunities to my son, it’s his time now. I don’t need to think about doing what I like.” Many parents feel this way. I’ve wondered a lot about single parents, as well as kids who have both their parents. I’ve also observed families where the…

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Are you feeling stuck?

Are you feeling stuck?

I have seen so many people give up on themselves i.e. the old and the young. Personally, I’ve been in many situations in the past where I too felt like giving up. It is not that you aren’t capable. It is the stories you are telling yourself vs what you decide to expel before letting…

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Living your best life without regret

Living your best life without regret

After living in 5 countries I had and have the opportunity to live and experience life on a level beyond belief with very little regret. Ask yourself how much of your current thinking patterns come from the way your parents and grandparents live or lived. Perhaps how your community is doing things. One day I…

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Worthiness

What is estimating your worthiness?

There are a number of contributing factors to how unworthy you may feel and how exposed you have been to these contributing factors day in and day out. So, I am going to give you some real situations which I have witnessed which created these feelings. Please feel free to amplify your experience and what…

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The patriarchal society and Apartheid

Patriarchal societies and Apartheid

Do you really get to leave the patriarchal society behind if it has been passed on from one generation to the next even if your family are modern? Women in patriarchal societies made sacrifices during the Apartheid era in South Africa and many of them were forced to accept and/or couldn’t escape domestic violence. Let’s…

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