Hello friends,
happy Wednesday … Jesus! Don’t tell me we’ve reached Christmas twenty-twenty one already… wait, let me look at the calendar… shoo… still some three hundred days to go that will fly from day sixty onwards … yep, right about the time when most of us will be eating easter eggs… how much you wanna bet? I bet you one golden egg! (Yah! I know, I can be very stingy with my chocolate bunnies). No idea when chocolate and I became such great buddies…? Alright milk chocolate, That! Is! It! … I’m leaving you … leaving you for dark chocolate… (sob, sob, sob, I miss you already and you haven’t even left my lingering warm, more like hot, okay boiling fingertips, … I feel you … Woah….hhH…HHaaa! Massive sob).
Let’s get loud… (sorry I ended up in the lyrics of one of Jennifer Lopez’s songs), I mean, Let’s get distracted, I’m sure you need my help with running away from the mince spy… (don’t tell me you’re busy running towards it… come, this way, it’s much safer).
Right, I realised maybe in my thirties this concept Good intentions or Good Judgement?
Certain experiences, and then as I wrote my books The South African: True Colours and The South African: Roamer, I saw it as clear as day, a bigger picture … what others thought would or could help isn’t or wasn’t actually what could be recommended or even needed at the time. When people can’t (fear) live authentically in a society that is blinded by the “show” (mind you this happens around the world) the truth (unsaid, not talked about issues) is difficult to let out. Certain things need to fall into place or be in place before certain pressures to do certain things can be considered a divine intervention or divine opportunity. Maybe if we lived authentically in society the right help can present itself but there is a high risk that you could be knocked down a lot more which can complicate the sighting of possible opportunities that could be heading one’s way … Let me see how I can explain… hmm, searching for an example, hmm still searching for an example …
(Side-tracking while looking for an example) It’s almost like when one gets knocked down so much, they stand in their own way, thinking they’re protecting themselves, so when the beautiful opportunity comes, it’s so hard to believe that one deserves it, it almost becomes impossible because of the “mode” things have been spinning in. Like holding onto what one has without believing in the better coming to them and then they miss it because they don’t trust it (or maybe they don’t trust themselves). Picture this image for a second. Someone gave you a teddy bear, a simple and a very small one. It’s not big enough to feel it’s warmth especially when you need a hug, then someone else just randomly sees this massive teddy bear and it doesn’t matter how or why it’s coming to you (maybe you asked God, the universe, whatever you want to call it for it), and so someone walks in with a present, you refuse to take it, how can you look what’s in the massive box and then say no you don’t want it (because you think you won’t like it), instead of just accepting the surprise you turn it away… guess what! You’ve missed out on the massive teddy bear you wanted, irrelevant how it happened to come your way.
Found one example after side-tracking above for the paragraph before the last. Okay, this is a very good example, actually. See my dad has been singing a song for me to watch this old film for months which by the way I ended up watching just over three months ago (He told me two years back about this film). The film is a Hindi film called “Samaj Ko Badal Dalo,” translating to “Change the society.” This film was made in the year nineteen seventy. This now relates directly to Good intentions or Good Judgement?
There’s a part in this film where the woman with children needs food (the woman with the children that needs food once came from a wealthy family but her father’s business partner set a trap for him and so they lost the entire business), her best friend and she were law students and her best friend was the daughter of the lawyer who was involved in the trap, however, now her friend cannot continue her studies in law. The best friend finds out that her father is a corrupt lawyer involved in the trap that caused her best friend to lose her place in the university, the home they once lived in and the business they once had. Once qualified she brought her best friend (the one that couldn’t study law) gifts that were all material and a pure gold baby jug which the baby can drink milk from. When she opened all the gifts, she realised she can’t use them, and for what, there was no milk to fill into the jug for the baby and what they really needed was food. After losing the breadwinner (her husband), and already coming from a very poor village the woman decides to go and sell the tiny golden jug for money so she can buy food, instead, the worker at the pawnshop accuses her of stealing the golden jug saying, “Where could someone so poor get something so expensive when they don’t even have any money or food?” A phone call is made from the police station to the friend who bought the present and she contests to buying the golden jug for her friend as a gift. The police officers apologise for making a wrongful arrest. The poor women realise that the golden jug is bringing them many unwanted problems and returns the golden jug back to her best friend.
In the end, the best friend tries to fight the case independently but can’t find substantial evidence or grounds and as she fights the case, she realises that one cannot win against an entire society, there is no law for an entire society of people (you cannot arrest an entire society) who have been operating this way (with years of injustice leading to many unfortunate events for the poor woman with children) even when they have acted wrongfully or have been wrong.
This is one such example of Good intentions or Good Judgement?
With years of experience here, having made mistakes and others making mistakes with me, the recommended advice I can offer is just be straight and upfront with people. Instead of assuming what others need and offering them that in your opinion, rather just ask them straight, “How can I be of help? If I can help the way you need me to help you, I will certainly try.” I believe this is the truest way to approach this without taking anyone’s power away from them.
Furthermore, if you wish to take various accounts and insights here are some more articles for your perusal.
Other articles
The road to hell is paved with good intention – Society
Forget good intentions… Focus instead on making the right impact – Business
When good intentions become a problem
The trouble with good intentions – Africa a dumping ground
The road to hell is full of good intentions – The shadow of kindness and charity
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by purchasing my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.
