Hello friends,
I trust you are well and holding things up just fine.
It was a bit confusing deciding which article I will put up today. I was already halfway on another article, but the way destiny has it, this one just had to take the priority. I realised that I dipped into ego in some of my articles but have not made a subject on it giving its own spotlight.
You know, I understand that all these things like fear, ego, pride, arrogance etc. are all things we learn once we’re here on this planet, we weren’t born with it, but I couldn’t help to understand why every single living thing on this planet has it and so I decided to do some digging. Although I can truly say, that I had only known one creature in my life who totally had no ego, yes the dog, the dog named Bhajiya in my book The South African: True Colours. This is what I found, see it’s funny what a thin line ego has, how it can easily reach the other end of the spectrum, and at the same time it can easily become confused with the abundant mindset (the article I was already halfway on) or even confidence. So, I found that going forward in your success be that whatever it may be for you, it’s actually ego that can stand in your way.
Let me ask you this question. When does ego kick in for you?
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For many ego kicks in when they are threatened, feeling fear or embarrassed. Now so many people are saying that the ego has got to go, and I am sure it will because most people get old and as they get older ego depletes. Ego is something we have to live with. I can’t help to think about those who have so many responsibilities and continually are in the face of some of the fanciest things that exist on our planet and if I’m writing an article about having an abundant mindset then I believe ego is something that won’t just disappear so it’s simply understanding when to honour, value it and to keep building a muscle for it to remain at a low when it does happen to kick in.
Did you know that ego protects one’s self-worth and image, so it is very essential in success because of the concept it creates around the self? The conscious self-check is required the minute negative emotions arise and to admit these negative emotions is the first step. Once you admit that you are feeling fear, blame, shame, embarrassment at the moment you open yourself up to the truth, the entire truth rather than the false reality begins to show up but until you don’t admit it the false ego is at play.
In my articles, I’ve written about emotional intelligence, spiritual intelligence and many other subjects which are all tools to assess and control one’s behaviour so that one can make fair, mature decisions as we are part of building something together, almost always. Checking in with oneself, seeing the angle and other people’s point of view from a sense of compassion points us to false ego patterns or at least half the story that we’ve written internally while the other half of the story is pretty much the external reality. We’re constantly being pulled between these two worlds and the challenge for everyone aware of this is how much are we gravitating towards our internal dialogue versus our external reality. One of the greatest benefits of the ego is that it motivates. We often talk about ego as this massive issue we have, true but we forget the push and drive it gives us to move forward, the thing is that not many of us are using ego’s motivation in the most positive way. What if I offer this? From the ego, take the motivation, then check into your external reality, (ouch! This will hurt the ego a little but it will recover), your internal reality will shift when you capture the external reality, then take the motivation and drive towards the new internal angle aiming it to the bullseye i.e. your reason why. – T. Dench Patel, 8 October 2020, 22:25 This is the major key and reason why so many people have come so quickly into an industry, made it big for a little while, then were gone and replaced.
I think you would be able to relate to this whether you are young or old. Can you remember the ego responses you’ve had, the dialogues you’ve had internally that deflected or reflected your outcomes/shortcomings externally? The younger we are the more ego responses we have simply because we’re still learning about managing our emotions and we don’t have it all figured out as yet, there are so many things we want out of life, so much energy, so many dreams but so little control because mummy and daddy carry the wallet and the part-time job ain’t going to get you that dream right about now.
Honestly, massive, massive awareness is necessary with regards to the ego, why? Because even the most successful people in this world don’t have an overnight antidote for it, many have fallen because of it but working on making realistic decisions in a grounded manner and being aware when you’re near the danger zone can help with you taking some life-changing actions almost like a temporary immunity shot. Ego depletion is natural, we’re just human.
I really liked this article Is confidence ego?
The take away here for me was that a confident person sees that they have something to learn and nothing to prove but when the ego is at play is when you’re acting like a know it all, wanting to prove and see what you can gain. Ego is self-seeking.
The article on the link goes into the following topics:
- What is ego?
- Is confidence better than ego?
- Ego vs. humility
- What is ego good for? (I found this one fascinating).
While in most cases ego is something that is perceived as negative, I can think of at least one scenario where ego could be useful.
When you need to Posture.
There are times in life where you are met with obstacles so great and a scenario so significant that you may need to draw on your “fake it big” muscle. The cost of not doing so is simply too high. Think competition. I think fighters do this. In reality, they may not know if they can win the match, but if they come off too humble, no one wants to tune in. You get my point.
- What does confidence without ego mean?
- Is pride and ego the same thing?
- How to deal with people with huge egos?
- What is confidence vs arrogance?
- Can you have high ego low self-esteem?
Finally, here are two more articles that you can check out.
Is ego running the show? 5 warning signs and what to do about it
9 signs you’re letting ego run your life
Okay, friends, over and out.
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by purchasing my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.
