Hello friends,
here we are closing off the week.
Gee-whiz where does the time go?
Someone asked me to write an article about this idea. I figured what a great topic to write about. I mean it’s relevant to everyone, i.e., both the young and old.
You know, I was around to hear how an old person loses confidence after they’ve mistakenly fallen and fractured their hip and the fears they feel of having to walk again, maybe fears around entering a new relationship believing one might not ever be ready after going through massive pain, transformation and breakthrough (one that you never ever saw coming your way) and healing from an abusive relationship, trusting people after a business venture failed with the last business partner. Let’s face it, there are endless situations and circumstances out there, i.e., illness, family problems, work, crisis … We just don’t know when that day is going to be the chosen day with mine or your name on it.
I will be blatantly honest, when I returned to South Africa, after spending seventeen years in Europe (at the time the United Kingdom was part of the EU), and I spent one year in the US, I don’t know, maybe I felt defeated when in my mind’s eye nine years in Spain, all that struggle and time there, one year away from my Spanish passport (I certainly deserved all my rights) and then the crisis, maybe self-sabotage or call it fate just got me moving in the direction of the United Kingdom (again, I certainly deserved all my rights). I don’t know, maybe I was sad, grieving, a loss so massive in my eyes then I just felt I’d never recover from or recover from the idea that kept me paying for all those years and sticking everything. The reasons why just kept dying, I was getting further away from the price I paid in all my years in Europe and UK and mostly my “why,” and then one-day “poof” I was on the ground fighting a new fight, a relationship where I took some massive psychological blows, and the recovery time was almost double that time. You know, for a long time I dealt with the, “You should have maybe done this, or that, (so much beating up) because right now you have no support here in the UK with the whole domestic violence case.” Truth be told, no matter what I would have done, I was still going to be facing stalking etc. I remember the whole process, it felt like a constant sadness, loss, and grieving. I didn’t know how to grieve or let go of this. I certainly felt paralysed and had massive fear. You know, sometimes some action is better than no action at all. It’s better to be moving, even if the direction you have in mind isn’t all that clear – T. Dench Patel, 8 December 2020, 21:23
I mean, I feel fear, who doesn’t? I feel fear for my loved ones, everyone does. We’re all so used to protect that we literally put so many thoughts in front of our loved ones’ door. You know, some mail is better left unsaid, or brought across and left for delivery at the doorstep of another mind to take on. – T. Dench Patel, 8 December 2020, 21:28
The truth is once that lesson or cycle is over, the chances are very slim for it to repeat. That’s just life. Whatever difficulty you’ve gone through or overcome, the chances are it won’t repeat unless what had to be taught has been taught. Yes, I know cancer can come back for a second round or more, so can COVID, so can… (I rather not say it and be nice :D).
So, I will tell you the truth, I was afraid in these last two years in many areas of my life. I don’t know where this fear came from (it definitely wasn’t there when I entered the last relationship), but I am glad no more. I mean feeling that fear makes me feel awake, makes me feel alive especially when I realise that I’m not here to be comfortable, I never was. I’m here to damn well live it up, yes, in fact, that whole package that comes with living, including making mistakes, (enough of the grieving and sadness, done with that! I think I’ve done it for my part and for the part of others) only now I am a bit wiser. I’ve been given the “gift” because I can take it. I get it even though I’ve been clouded with some major transformational s**t for some years. I mean I just rather live in light than in the dark, I can tell and speak for all of us, cause I don’t really want anyone to feel the depth of darkness that one just keeps seeing, i.e., dark and can’t find the tunnel that is thee (specific to each person’s) path to the light or that there’s not enough light coming through. For me I prayed to find the light, seriously, I prayed for it.
Now that the volcano is over, the rocks have hardened from the pressure. God! But diamonds really form deep down in the dark! We just don’t know when found what our intrinsic value is and that which we can give out – T. Dench Patel, 9 December 2020, 22:08 We just don’t know how close we are to the surface when we’ll be found, and so giving up, please, giving up is no option. Trial and test, we’re always up against something new and the line is drawn after that. That fear has given and taken from us something that we will only understand one day.
You know that movie Soul Surfer says a lot on a subconscious level. Do you know the idiom, “Once bitten twice shy?” (Most defo bitten there!)The movie based on a true story, i.e., Soul Surfer is an example of living life on a way higher vibration, it really did eventually cast away this idiom which played some part in the story and has so many strong messages in it to those who watched it. It really is a question of how much belief and power you have within yourself, this world, and in the universe – let’s not omit God for some. Once the biggest fear has been defeated it’s not coming back for you, it just won’t! – T. Dench Patel, 9 December 2020, 22:22 We’re attached to the memory and how our body, mind, spirit, and soul felt when we went through it, and maybe this is about gratitude, that the value of life is underestimated and commanded by the external world, that understanding that life is a diamond lucky to be found, because when you get hit by cancer, domestic violence, and all these uncountable events, and uncontrollable happenings, with gratitude you can decide what matters the most, and that is mine, yours and every life on this planet (I speak for you ?). – T. Dench Patel, 9 December 2020, 22:29
So, to end, don’t let what happened to you paralyse you. That’s just here to show you the intrinsic value of your life so that after you recover, you’re out there living what is planned in your own spiritual contract. – T. Dench Patel, 9 December 2020, 22:33
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by purchasing my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.
