Hello friends,
what! Tuesday already. Where has Monday gone? ?
Okay, so last week I believe the twenty-third of September I wrote an article about rejection and on the twenty-second of September, I wrote about how we can take things so personally when people move on and where our focus goes. I write in this article about why and not how. The spin-off from that topic came to this one you see here only I noted it down as the topic, “Let her/him go” under my personal notes.
This one puts a clear perspective on romance. Let me tell you something, every person on this planet has felt unworthy at some point in their life, without exception. What have I learnt from having crushes, relationships, rejection in romance be that which I have to make clear to someone or someone else who makes this clear to me and lastly from the offers to get married?
Are you ready?
Get yourself a proper drink NOT a shot ?.
I think the biggest breakthrough around this topic of loving yourself and getting clear about you and your why is the bare essential. For me, this has been the process in the last seven years. Getting clear about what you want out of this life in business, life, friendships, love, family, you or even your influence in this world and I’m pretty sure there are sub-categories in these areas depending on where you are at in your life, and so for the area of love this is my perspective.
I have realised that if you want someone in your life and if someone wants you in their life then the main obstacles are already removed, and so this relationship has to be nurtured. What we already know is that taking something for granted is where things start to get off alignment and then the external life overpowers the internal self or vice versa. If I’ve learnt anything in life, then it must be this, what keeps coming up is balance and harmony.
(Sigh) I’m just wondering how to put this into words for you.
Imagine the scene
Guy likes girl, then guy watches her for some time. He wants to approach here so he dips his toe. She continues as normal. Maybe the hint wasn’t strong enough. He tries again. She picks up the effective hint. He is now getting clingy or maybe she’s getting clingy and now this is becoming a bit of an issue. The little fun games are no longer fun. I mean how fun is something if you can get it straight away without knowing how hard it took to get it or truly know the value in what you have?
You know so many people cling onto what they think they deserve. I think for me the epiphany came when I saw an episode where Oprah Winfrey was being interviewed. I remember this one part when she spoke. The guy was basically leaving her when she held onto the back of the car or something along those lines because he said something like, “You think you’re special,” and as she held onto the car as he got in to leave or was about to drive away almost pleading to him, she said these words, “No, I don’t think I am special.”
I don’t know, the way she spoke about that scene made me really think.
I just think after all these years that if at first there was something real and then some kind of separation happens, loss of connection, hardly working on love together, I don’t know (I can’t tell you because I haven’t really gotten to that stage), I just can say that when you cling onto something that the universe/ call it God or the higher power heard, it heard what’s so deeply buried in your heart that you yourself have covered up or blocked out you just end up trying to keep what should be gone, perhaps even should have been long gone or shouldn’t have even started to begin with. – T. Dench Patel, 29 September 2020, 16:56
So when I say let them go, if they want to leave your life let it happen, but if you know the issue and haven’t pulled up your socks then that is something else altogether. Then that should be a title of another article. This article is about holding onto something that all the signs are there showing you that you should let go so that what’s buried deep down in that heart of yours can come true, yes, I’m talking of the best possible outcome for both involved to be realized. I’m talking of allowing what wants to enter your life which comes from the alignment of what you’ve asked from your heart’s desire to come to fruition. T. Dench Patel, 29 September 2020, 17:02
Please, let people leave, it’s not personal. If they don’t want you, that doesn’t mean that you are at fault, it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy, it doesn’t mean anything. It simply means that what they want has changed (they want something else) or they’ve just chosen wrong and if that’s no longer you, don’t force it especially when someone has put a clear expiry date, without no more stories and drama. All they want is scot-free. – T. Dench Patel, 29 September 2020, 16:07
I refer to this topic “Let him/her go,” in case you’re dating someone, have been their partner for some years, short relationships, long-distance relationships, you thought someone has a crush on you and then they’re no longer interested, staying or falling in love with someone toxic and there might even be more to this list. I exclude from this topic highly invested relationships, marriage, and relationships where children are involved. This is something that has to be looked into according to the complexity one is facing, and in the case where you really believe someone is worth keeping in your life, fighting for in your life and rectifying your error because your love together is the strength of both people involved then chances and forgiveness is important, (who said you can’t fall in love all over again?) but.. there’s always a but… if someone is no longer happy and wants to walk away, I believe that giving it a chance one more shot to change before walking away is worth it.
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by purchasing my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.
