Self-worth and NOT net worth: The number one reason why you are where you are

Hello friends,

how is life today?

You know here in South Africa Coronavirus is beginning to take the shape of reality especially now that we know people who’ve got it and even someone who has died from it. I had to literally ask my father this morning to stop asking about who died today, literally for his own sake and to just wait for us to let him know when we get the news. Over this weekend, I also learnt that I should be careful about what I do when I am around an elderly person, basically, they are like children, I mean their skin becomes thin, they shrink, their bodies are fragile, their concentration span lowers, and any small thing could hurt them.

Okay, please don’t laugh… (Gosh I’m already laughing), okay, this Saturday evening I freed up my time so that I can hang out with my dad, mum and the rest of the family. So here we were, all of us, happily sitting by the fire and halfway through a movie when I offered peppermint crisp (an amazing South African chocolate) to my sister who sat at an angle on another couch. My father sat next to her, so he was closest to me. Even though he was the closest to me it wasn’t close enough to pass the massive slab of chocolate to him. So, what did I do? Seriously I’m still dissing myself over it. I asked, “Should I throw the chocolate to you?” and my sister replies, “Yes.” I am guessing that you already know what happened next. Absolutely certain I was going to throw the chocolate high, with the right calculation, ready for flying peppermint crisp to takeoff a split second thought came in and I said, “Wait, what if I throw it too far and it hits the floor?” and off the flying peppermint crisp went. Without a proper takeoff, it landed on my father’s forehead, “Doof,” we actually heard the “Doof,” and there’s my father with his hand over his eye, the eye which the doctor told him to protect. Both his legs are at an angle, in the air, above the ground as if he got knocked unconscious with a brick and he wasn’t certain if he needed to lie down or not. Of course, panic hit me, and I got up straight away, so did my sister and we were relieved that it did not hit his eye. Of course, I felt very terrible. So, I put the movie on pause so that no one misses out. I made sure with my dad if he was okay. He sat down more relaxed, and once damage control was over, I said I’ll wait. It so happens that when you’re old and get one small knock it can become a really big thing, ask my dad, he has had his share of bumpy rides over the last few years. My father went to rub some Zam-Buk, Zam-Buk is amazing, used for sores, eczema, pimples, pains, insect bites and so many other things. There he was rubbing this on the part of his forehead that got hit by the chocolate while looking in the mirror. My sister and dad arrive back into the lounge, and my sister says trying to hold a seriously massive laugh in, “He’s got a small doompie,” Doompie is a word we use a lot since the time I was a kid and it comes from the Afrikaans language. It’s basically the hump, or the inflation caused by a fall or knock and isn’t usually serious. So as we all sat down to begin watching the movie from where we left off, my dad now with his thick hoodie on for more protection, just in case, and my sister hiding behind the couch rolling on the floor with laughter, was starting to get me into stitches, and of course, trying very hard to keep my laugh in it just jumped out of my mouth and then my father went into stitches. If Humpty Dumpty looked anything like my skinny dad (at the way the chocolate landed on him), then he would have had a great fall… just the way we’ve witnessed it.

So, we eventually got a grip on our laughter, seriously started watching the movie and then my father says, “The chocolate is so hard.” My sister grabs the not so cool peppermint crisp on no more wings and feels it, “Wow, it’s very hard.” She pauses for a bit and says, “Have some.” She opens it only to find that she didn’t need to break a piece, it was already broken, handing over my dad that piece, she says again trying to hold a massive laugh in, “Here dad, have this.” My dad takes it, happy once again, and even happier eating the peppermint crisp that he had no idea he cracked with his head.

How’s that for a start into the title of this article Self-worth and NOT net worth: The number one reason why you are where you are? No coffee, and definitely not a day for hot chocolate… I had my fair share of chocolate disasters… I prefer to keep you safe today.

Alright, ready? Let’s head straight in. I wrote it here; it really is the number one reason why we are not where we want to be. If we think about it clearly, it’s true. Why? Everything starts with a thought and the fact that your thought could end up being a trillion-dollar manifestation like Apple is because we don’t value ourselves enough to know that we are deserving of all our dreams coming true, but even if let’s say your net worth is a trillion dollars if you stamp your self-worth to that trillion dollars you are in very big trouble. Allan Kleynhans, who runs a workshop called AWAKEN can bring you awareness to your “demons” that are sabotaging your success. You see, “money doesn’t change men, it merely unmasks them. If a man is naturally selfish or arrogant or greedy, the money brings that out, that’s all.” – Henry Ford

“Money magnifies what’s inside you either all the demons that dominate you and your life or all the positivity that dominates you and your life, it depends, which one is superior?” – T. Dench Patel, 29 June 2020, 15:19

 

 

“Money is a magnificent magnifier; money will magnify that which is within you. If you are selfish inside you, money will magnify your selfishness. If you are kind, gentle, selfless, and discipline, guess what? Money will magnify all that good stuff in you.” – Bo Sanchez

“Violent behaviour, alcohol, money, drugs, pretty girls, cars are like plasters and replacements for deep wounds.” – Allan Kleynhans

Please, read the quotes in bold again and now ask yourself honestly, what is my true self-worth? Am I happy with who I am and what lies inside me, yes internally? What is it that I have to DO, not have, but DO to begin to feel that I exist first for ME in this world? Do I feel like no one in this world sees me for ME? Will having all the money in the world dissolve my internal demons and conflicts?

What if I tell you that the more self-sabotaging habits, fears, self-esteem, self-belief, truth, emotional maturity, emotional intelligence, etc. you think you’ve conquered you always have to work on, on the next level, so whatever level you have come to there’s always the next phase of growth and this is how self-worth increases. The minute you stop doing the internal work, work on that internal dialogue, all, you’re on your own devises. The minute you do not take or make the decision on your life and be the architect for that someone is always going to own you, decide for you, put a number on your worth, and bankers only look at numbers, so do not bank your self-worth and standstill, it’s up to you to totally grow your interest. There are people in this world who have grown their interest rates in themselves much faster than the interest rates of their net worth in their bank accounts. That my friend is the power of true self-worth. So basically, embody and own yourself as the entire investment, because you are the only one in this world who knows how to create the vision relevant to your passion. Only you are closer than nobody to replicating that success, but more so, you are simply satisfied with yourself no matter what. – T. Dench Patel, 29 June 2020, 18:09

There is no shortcut, less painful way, less indirect way to facing yourself. The sooner you do it the sooner you can start the work and begin to change subconscious patterns that are no longer working for you. To reach self-worth you would have to begin removing self-limiting beliefs.  – T. Dench Patel, 29 June 2020, 18:16

Self-limiting beliefs are the believes that you have made up in your head. They limit you from moving forward, doing better, and because of that, you keep recreating different scenarios with similar circumstances by projecting more of your limiting believes rather than breaking them down and creating a new and healthier belief system. In order to create healthier belief systems of yourself and the world around you one has to work on their fears, their negative habits for example procrastination, self-sabotage, self-esteem, beliefs, taking action daily on how they envision their life to be, replacing negative thoughts to positive ones, etc.

Friend, I’m not saying everyone in this world wants to think like billionaires or trillionaires, you could simply be a housewife who is seeking to live the dreams that have been living in your bloodstream for a very long long time, they might be a few and enough to keep you busy for a couple of years. What matters is they will be life-changing for you, it’s the design you personally want for you, that would be enough for you to feel satisfied with how far you have come internally as an individual and that could be just enough to make a difference in your world and the people in your community. But your true self-worth will be that which you ultimately think of yourself, based on the realistic view of you by yourself. – T. Dench Patel, 29 June 2020, 20:17

Below I have also added more links to what other people have to say around the topic of self-worth.

The importance of self-worth

In the article above, please read it in detail it provides valuable points such as challenging the inner critic (your inner voice), having compassion for yourself, engaging in humanitarian causes, and how it helps self-esteem. It also goes into fostering higher levels of self-worth and this, in particular, I found really interesting.

“Make a concerted effort to maintain personal integrity in your life by insisting that your actions correspond to your words,” suggests Dr Robert Firestone. When our actions do not match our words, we are more vulnerable to attacks from our critical inner voice and less likely to respect ourselves.”

What is self-worth and how do we increase it?

I found this article to be exceptional, it’s so detailed and provides exercises and worksheets to help you. I thought this piece would really resonate with you.

“Despite all of this, she still believes that she is worthy and valuable. She knows that her worth as a human is not dependent on her ability to run, read, play trivia, or make new friends. Whether she is great, terrible, or somewhere in between at each of her vast range of chosen activities, she knows she is still worthy of happiness, fulfillment, and love.”

The above article in the link also has valuable content for adolescents and not only adults. Take a look at the videos and quotes as well. I believe this article is complete.

How to build self-worth and start believing in yourself again?

Self-worth: Why you need to value yourself more?

13 things that don’t determine your self-worth

Seven signs you know your value and self-worth

Let me know what you uncover. Drop us a line.

Yours sincerely,

T. Dench Patel

Don’t miss out on Self-worth NOT net worth: The number one reason why you are where you are – Part 2

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