The power of self-communication and how that affects everyone else you communicate with

Hello friends,

Welcome again to another article. How are you doing? It’s a very chilled day here and I just finished drinking a very hot cocoa drink to get warmed up so I can concentrate on writing this article. If you want to just unwind while reading this article go ahead and make yourself a drink. I will wait right here for you.

…

…

…

Ready, what did you make? ? (as I poke my nose into your cup). Really, honestly, how are you doing? I personally am not doing great as I watch things unfold in our world with the swarms of locusts, the so-called little bugs that could invade the UK and damage houses and cars during June and July, if Coronavirus hasn’t gotten to people suicidal thoughts and depression has, while family members have lost some of their loved ones others are praying that they will be okay especially when they can’t go and see them at the hospital, it’s just a bit too much. While you’re at home, I am hoping to take you through changing your thoughts and mindset to try and see this time as a time of transformation and transition. A time to learn so that you are prepared for the change that is coming. Let’s dive into today’s topic, the power of self-communication and how that affects everyone else you communicate with.

Step 1

I am going to put down a few questions for you to answer for yourself in your own spare time. Be very honest with yourself. Please reflect and write down your answer on a page.

• Are you hard on yourself?
• Do you get angry with yourself?
• Do you have a short fuse?
• Do you blow things out of proportion?
• Do you take the time to understand why you feel the way you feel?
• Are you honest with yourself most of the time?
• Are you generally a just/fair person?
• Are you negative and dramatic?
• Do you keep the promises that you make to yourself?
• Are you talking to yourself as a mature adult or still as the child who has unresolved matters inside?
• What narrative do you use on your own decisions, feeling, thoughts, emotions (positive and negative)?
• Do you feel that you respect yourself?
• Do you feel like you’re worthy of someone’s time, effort and help?
• Can you admit to yourself your mistakes and can you take responsibility for it, like really own it?
• Do you face the truth especially in the most challenging times?
• Are you making up your own truth without seeing the whole picture? How do you find this out? How do you communicate with others? Are you interested in finding out?
• How much of your life do you live authentically as opposed to wearing a mask?
• Are you afraid of being transparent?
• Do you trust yourself?
• Do you procrastinate a lot and have a lot of excuses, for everything that was undone or that went wrong?
• Do you embrace the feminine and masculine for who they are, how they want to communicate and are you brave enough to tell them the truth if you feel like they really must know something for their own sake?
• Are you self-sabotaging your decisions?
• Do you love yourself? What practises do you do for self-love?
• Do you speak to yourself kindly; do you swear yourself off?

With the answers above, just take a moment to look at each question, reflect on your answer, why and how you’ve come to it.

Step 2

Take a look at what you have attracted into your life from the answers you have written down from the questions above.

• Do you have selective communication with certain people? Do these people tell you the truth or when you communicate with people you always want to remain as the angel, maybe you also enjoy polishing your halo?
• Do you really want to hear the truth from those who surround you or do you want to hear what you consider perfect music to your ears?
• Do you embrace conversations that have a touch of feminine energy in male bonding or do you see that as a weakness?
• Are you congruent in your messaging and truth be it whoever you are talking to?
• What sort of people have you attracted into your life, which ones stayed which ones left, and which ones keep a fair amount of distance? Have a gut feeling why?

The above exercise is to help you understand if you are encouraging yourself and supporting yourself and if that is leading you to a more successful and happy life. If you’re still not convinced about the above questions and answers you have gotten from the questions take a look at these articles  Self-communication is the foundation of success and this one  Power of self-communication.

If you’re beginning to wonder how you can better the communication with yourself these are some methods that I use. I will also leave a link to another article to help you further.

• I use a gratitude journal and a journal to note down daily feelings, events and use the gratitude journal to remind myself what I am thankful for.
• I meditate and let go of any negative emotions daily.
• I asses after challenging times how and where I could do better and be better.
• I learn from others who have more life experience than myself especially if I am not in a familiar zone.
• I continue telling myself to be less judgemental to myself, others, this is not only my journey, but this is their journey too. Everyone is on different levels.

This article might help you too. How to talk to yourself.

From the article in the link above these points or quotes caught my attention.

• The highest form of wisdom is kindness. —The Talmud
• I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails…—country music singer Jimmy Dean
• Flowers and pricker bushes grow out of the same dust.—author Cynthia Lewis
• The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.—Sophocles
• Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.—author Daphne Rose Kingma
• What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly. —Richard Bach
• I’m not bald; I’m a person of scalp. —Unknown
• I can clutch the past so tightly to my chest that it leaves my arms too full to embrace the present. —Jan Glidewell
• There are two ways to live my life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.—Albert Einstein

What are your thoughts and experiences around self-communication? Is there anything you’d like to share that hasn’t been mentioned above? Please leave a comment.

Yours sincerely,

T. Dench Patel

Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by either purchasing one of my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.

The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.

Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.