Truth or Dare? True or False? If you are reading this, it comes with a disclaimer

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT AN ARTICLE FOR YOU TO READ IF YOU’RE RACIST OR VERY PATRIOTIC – THIS ARTICLE IS SAYING THE UNSAID STRAIGHT OUT (EXPRESSED VIEWPOINTS BETWEEN LOCALS, NATIONALS AND FOREIGNERS HARDLY EVER SPOKEN OUT LOUD) – IF YOU ARE READING PUT YOURSELF IN BOTH SHOES – PLEASE READ RIGHT TO THE END FOR THE FULL REFLECTION TO PASS. COMMENT AND SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH YOUR FRIENDS OVERSEAS OR LOCAL. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THE WORLD CAN CHANGE.

Hello friends,

what! No way, the year just started and we’re ending on the last article for this week already.

 

Hope you are well and started or maybe already have put all your Christmas and New Year’s decorations away. I know Spain certainly has superstitions around this. Yesterday was Día de Los Reyes in Spain (and some other countries too), translates to “Day of the Three Kings.” So, in Spain, yesterday was the day (always on the 6^th of January) when the presents under the tree get opened. I believe other Latin cultures (e.g., France, Portugal, Mexico) believe in this day too as in history it goes down as the day the three kings visited Jesus. On this day in countries that do have this tradition sell a speciality in the bakeries and this speciality is called Roscón de Reyes which usually is packed with or without cream or chocolate (there are different kinds). It’s a not so sweet cake in the form of a large round doughnut topped with crystallised coloured fruit and icing sugar. Now they also hide two small things in the Roscón i.e., a small ceramic doll and a dried bean (a symbol of fortune and prosperity). This tradition initially began in times of slavery, then it became an official tradition where the ceramic doll was replaced with money and the bean being whoever gets the piece with the bean must pay for the Roscón (not usually taken seriously of course) …

 

Roscón

Hmmm, I am actually missing it, along with some other nice delicacies sold in Spain. Anyways, I recommend you sit with a cuppa and something to eat, preferably a Roscón… but since not everyone can have those, maybe a mince pie, … okay … just teasing … let’s sit with green tea and gluten-free biscuits and promise that each time you get angry or feel like swearing you take a nibble, keep this at the back of your mind each time you read something that you’re mirroring back and that is, “Let me just be calm, read right to the end, understand what this article is trying to show me, or teach me that I already don’t know about the world out there or myself.” Bite ONLY at what’s edible in front of you. … Nope, not your significant other, or your kids, or the dog, or your nails…

 

https://www.facebook.com/miguelitosarenas/photos/

 

I thought this article is significantly important because when I was living in the United Kingdom there were and still are so many misconceptions of people (in my case Indian people), foreigners and nationals. The truth is that when I returned from my eighteen-year life, mostly in Europe, I was put in the final category (from all the five countries I lived in) with the last country I lived in, I was noted down as British. I wasn’t a British national, but I was noted down as such in my stay in South Africa.

 

 

Mind you, I have friends who wrote letters from The United States of America, England and some more countries that I’ve missed in my plight below, and so it is hard for me to write this as you might feel attacked, but read on because, in the end, the revelation makes sense.

 

Now there has been an error in the way my case has been dealt with at the Home Office UK even before the day I got to the court case (subsequent articles disclose what happened if you have been following them), and the way my country was dealt with when I was being raised during Apartheid. Are they going to shout it out loud from the rooftop? Of course not, they will find every means to justify it was part of … who knows… because if they do, they’d have nations of people going to be absolutely angry and up the British HO a**. British women’s groups claim that leaving a non-European unmarried partner unprotected by all means even by excluding them out of the law for domestic violence was deliberate and wrong, amongst much laws that puts more foreigners into domestic violence than the happy marriage they believe they’ve entered because of the amount of time the Home Office/Home Affairs of many countries take to give the person permission to work from day one and by the time the application has come through approved the strain of less income in the home has turned the happy marriage into a nightmare/disaster. This strain was created while I waited for my residency in Spain and then double whammy, voila! England when I arrived there.

 

Okay, an alternative route is being shown to me that is aligned directly to what I do, yes, the arts, digital technology and languages. I left behind taking the above personally because the mistake the British Home Office made certainly showed me that God, the universe, call it what you want to did not make a mistake. What do I mean by this? Please visit the videos on my Instagram page tdenchpatel to understand how some broken situations have become healed, repaired and consistently moving in an upward direction (otherwise my journal is so impeccably awesome). The choice to run was not there, only the choice that presented itself was to fix it and make it better.

 

 

So why is all this so important? Are you a foreigner somewhere? Maybe you’re a foreigner crowned with the new passport, maybe you will be travelling abroad, maybe your children will be travelling abroad one day, while others move to Britain, the British, South Africans, Germans, who knows who else will move to Australia, maybe you’re moving to South Korea one day, maybe your children will be. You don’t know yours or anyone’s destiny, but before you find out some hard truths, here’s Truth or Dare? True or False? Do you want to know what you or your children could face? Or would you rather have the unsaid dealt with now so that the future looks better?

 

I can’t speak for South Americans, South Africans, and differences there in Spain, because there weren’t many South Africans, I can only say that in the year two thousand and eleven we were one hundred South Africans living in Madrid. So, what number would I have been in the year two thousand and five? I didn’t know a soul from South Africa living in all the places I travelled and lived in Spain, and to top that off I knew no Indian South African living in Madrid until the year two thousand and eleven.

 

 

So, I have to go off England, this is where the most misconceptions and truths come from (not far from this for others immigrating or have immigrated to other countries either). I can also say that I’ve been on the flip side of both sides of the coin. Alright, so when you take a look at the description and the first twenty videos here, this will set the stage for you. One thing for sure, it’s easy making friends in Spain, but it’s harder making real friends in Spain (from my experience). I knew tons of people, seriously, people greeted me and knew my face, I made friends at the exchange groups, tons of people to go out with for company but just one whom I could talk openly to as a brother knowing I was safe, wasn’t going to be hit on, no agenda, not a player… nothing… two foreigners who could compare honest notes and similarities as he was Asian, Spanish ex-colony from the Island of Philippines (Manila). It was hard making real friends out there, but it’s there that I met my German friend whom I write about on this article Your reputation, individuality and authentic self can only take off once you let the ideas of, in some cases the control of the pack on you go

 

I also can truly say, if you’re meant to meet someone, you’re meant to. Both these friendships just turned out like that and evolved so effortlessly.

 

England (2000 – 2003 then 2012 – 2019) – Nine years of notes

 

This is an interesting observation to come to as there was an evolution that took place after Apartheid ended in South Africa. A bunch of young Indian South Africans along with white and coloured South Africans went to experience life in the United Kingdom.

 

(Disclaimer: This is the point of view of various people over time not one hundred percent my own personal account)

 

Findings

 

The year two thousand

 

• Many South African Indians that I knew of settled there had really good qualifications. I am sure there were other races too that settled there from South Africa.
• Too many big-headed people from South Africa (I mean I wasn’t Australian or any other nationality to know any better) who did well over there feeling like millionaires, but the money shot right to the head (self-improvement and entrepreneurship weren’t known of, and worst off we were behind compared to the average British national who had much more at their fingertips). Not a common era either where every person had a laptop or internet in their home. Jobs were still shown on newspapers and one had to walk into the recruitment office to find a job.
• The average South African who didn’t secure residency felt fear, insecurity and uncertainty, especially when this was an opportunity for young South Africans to have. It was hard to figure out if one could buy any sort of significant possession, step into a serious relationship not being very stable financially or in general in life. Realising life here without residency had significant limitations.
• The system controlled what you get, how much you get, and how long you’d stay and with average statistics a person living in England for two years would just about begin an almost decent life after securing a job, a place to live in a nice neighbourhood, then worried about more risks and just when they are immersing into the community residency is over.

 

Finger-pointing from the foreigners’ point of view

 

• How come the locals are pretending to be sick and pretend with so many things so that they can claim free benefits?
• The British are unfriendly and cold and the British Hindu worse (noted from many foreign Hindu people that I met along the way). Hard to make real friends.
• The British believe they’re the best.
• Western Europeans (including Britain before Brexit) are selfish and stingy.
• The British are bland.
• The donations for charity that come into Africa from many first world countries have expired, the equipment is broken not with a small fault which can be repaired, it’s almost like the whole equipment needs repairing as it’s unsuitable for disabled people.

 

What was noticeable that many nationalities speak of not just South Africans (hate me if you must, I’m just the messenger. I’m letting you know what many people say, not only what I’ve observed time and time again).

 

 

Finger-pointing from the British point of view

 

• Foreigners have less value. They get better-paid jobs than the British nationals.
• The foreigners are living here for free. (This one really gets me, foreigners were controlled so much and by the way, your employer has to ensure you pay taxes especially where residency and permits are involved. The system is very tight in this sense).

 

Personal point of view – OMG! The years two thousand to two thousand and three the United Kingdom had a very beautiful vibe, free of any crisis. The rounds could only go until ten at night in bars. There was something magical about this Kingdom during this time. There were just as much British nationals curious about foreigners and customs that they would join in.

 

It gets a bit intense nearing the first major crisis in the year two thousand and eight

 

Finger-pointing from the foreigners’ point of view

 

• (If someone from the same country settled abroad) Excuse me but isn’t that person South African how come they’re pretending to be British after marrying someone from Britain. Eh! Is this how it works? (Too much comparing and sussing out people rather than just getting past it. What is there to lose?) (Watch out you might even get called “Laanie” if you’re not white).
• Excuse me but that person is a British born Hindu the last time I checked I am Hindu (perhaps not practising) too, only I’m from South Africa. Why are we divided? Why is the South African Hindu treated unworthy? (Alarm for domestic violence in arrange marriages)
• (If someone from the same country settled abroad) Excuse me but that person is South African, and they lived in my town, down the road. We’re “paisanas,” (Spanish word, meaning, countryman) and now they live down my road here in England, what are the chances of that? How come I’m being ignored? How come I don’t even get a hello?
• Feel like we’re being set up for failure in our jobs. (Personal comment – Here in South Africa racism is massive because of the history of apartheid, now that we’re in affirmative action a lot of the other races are being set up. They don’t get trained properly in their jobs because the race that is being favoured wants to keep their position and power).
• When they come to South Africa, we go out of our way to make them feel welcomed, we really take time with them. When we go to visit them, we feel like we’re not welcomed and are not treated with warmth. We are made to feel like we’re second class or economy to them.
• They have everything, they’re spoilt.

Personal opinion – The labelling is what I began seeing growing at strength by the year two thousand and three.

Personal account – Someone who lived on my street in South Africa lived round the corner from me in the year two thousand and sixteen when I was in the UK, they recognised me I didn’t recognise them. No courtesy to come and say hi. I really would have been excited to meet them if I recognised them. I mean come on, after spending over a decade in a new world wouldn’t it be nice to have someone from home close by?

 

Finger-pointing from the British point of view

 

• Foreigners from poor countries set us up.
• People from third world countries have lower standards. (Alarm, see the domestic violence stats because of this).

 

I hope you’re still sitting there with your green tea and nibbled on what is edible. “Still” sitting there?

 

Now, can you imagine how I was received when I returned to South Africa by even some of the misconceptions some of my family members had, heck even what the society had of me since March two thousand and nineteen? I was just seen as the nationality of the last country I lived in (after living in five countries), boxed up and packaged in there because of my accent and way of living. Not even recognised initially for being T. Patel in her own right. I really had to make people understand and see different.

 

Personal comment from the above paragraph

 

I was like I’m T Patel, why am I being treated like a foreigner in the country I was born in? Now can you imagine the following before arriving at the above sentence?

 

• I’m in Britain but am still being treated as a foreigner.
• I’m in Spain with Spanish residency but hello I am being treated like I am from India not from South Africa.
• I’m in Switzerland, definitely a foreigner.
• I’m in the United States, okay I feel like I am sometimes in South Africa.

 

So, what am I? Cosmopolitan (no label, no box).

 

I believe I’ve been successful there. I believe I did portray the following:

 

• I believe I brought across how the western world (yes even Britain) can teach one how to lower the levels of aggression, live at ease compared to the nature of South Africans because of South African life and the way it goes with violence, crime, murders, hijacking, suicides, co-dependency etc. and always having to live on the edge. (Don’t believe me, check out all the articles that I wrote after March two thousand and nineteen on my blog).
• I believe I have tried to teach people from other countries (rich and poor) that xenophobia is no different from racism, I had shown these countries the good perspectives of the western world and other countries (rich or poor) through my articles, and eastern concepts.
• I would like to think I’ve brought some middle ground to both the eastern and western world and cultures. Something negative and positive to them.
• I would like to think that I have contributed to changing the system of immigration and giving people decent lives because everyone deserves equality and fairness.
• Lastly, your world is better than my world? What! We’re all here in/on this one world! Take the good, take the bad and then make the world better – T. Dench Patel, 6 January 2021, 00:52

 

I mean during the initial period of the year two thousand internet and technology was still growing, so people could not see the difference as they can see now on YouTube, Instagram, Tiktok and other social media platforms how people from other countries live, mind you if you take a look at my Instagram profile you will say that the quality of life can compare with some things in the United Kingdom or even some aspects are better here in South Africa then some first world countries. Now, can you imagine knowing your own truth, and going around as a solo traveller for years? To some extent, you get defeated shoved into the box of other people’s beliefs because you are one against many out of your own world, and so when you keep hearing over and over again that your country’s standards are low, or face unfairness because of the passport you carry, you yourself begin to believe this truth. Think about it, I spent seventeen years in your world and started believing your truth somewhere around the sixth or seventh year and lost what the truth actually was.

 

 

Final points, you’re still here? If you are great, when you face the same situation over and over again just with different people then there’s definitely “boxing” and “labelling” to be blamed for this. Just like every unique person who wrote a letter for me from different countries did so because they’re not British, American, Italian, Polish, they’re a person fighting a plight. When too many people go around treating others unfair, unequal through misconceptions you get racism, xenophobia, hate…

I hopefully demonstrated today, and via my YouTube videos over recent months that even foreigners have a choice to be in your country, not everyone is coming from poverty and have low standards, the story is different for each one. My story was one where I was closer out there to the languages I was out to learn and maintain, experience, I write in British English, I have access to the newest technologies out there to better my work and make progress in it, and many other reasons of which that stands out is that I have a chance to change all that I see in my eyes which is possibly negative through this means, arts.

 

There is much beauty in South Africa, there is much beauty in England but if we all stay still how are we going to share and evolve the world? If that’s the case, we might as well keep living in boxes. – T. Dench Patel, 7 January 2021, 16:52

 

Your’s sincerely,

T. Dench Patel

 

Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by purchasing my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.

The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.

Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.