Hello friends,
here’s to another day at www.tdenchpatel.com, let’s all raise our hot chocolates ?. What? Alright, we don’t have to make today hot chocolate day. Go and fetch whatever drink you want, anything… even if you’re the one on the rocks.
Here’s another article you don’t want to miss, oh! Yeah! Believe me, cause not a lot of people are talking enough about this. You want you and your family to move forward, be warned, this article is really going to hit a lot of people on the head.
Okay, go and make yourself a drink… I’ll go and make me one too.
…
Okay back, don’t even ask what’s in my cup? ?
Ready, on your mark, get set (taking a sip… oops too much chocolate), go!
This afternoon while having lunch with my family I decided to reveal this article to both my parents. I’m glad I did, my mother told me her experience in school (my mother who’s now 68) and it reminded me of the same experience I had at school. What made me think of this article was when I asked myself the question, where does the validation come from? The prize, the certificates, the awards, coming out first in class?
You know what my mum said when I told her I was going to write about this topic? This topic which was sitting with me since yesterday. Here’s her reply,
“When I was small, I remember when I was in school, the teacher gave me a gold star for doing my work properly.” In the eighties, we were still getting stars at school and when I was a Governess to a five-year-old, she too will come and tell me when she got a gold star. The gold star made her so happy that she had to tell someone about it.
I’m sure the idea about the stars, getting the first prize award, coming out third, getting a Grammy, Platinum all initially had their right places and reasons. Perhaps to some, it is or was a way to become encouraged so that you can push as hard as you possibly can. While the meaning still might be there when it comes to Olympics, tennis or most sports it’s still on override for many people in most parts of this world. Why? Because we are over seven billion people and we all have dreams, desires, goals, passions at some point in our lives. There’s only a handful of people that are closer to being in the Olympics, the sport of their choice, that goal, you know and while the most are still getting to their own goals, people still need encouragement.
The thing is you will never know your superpower if you don’t carry your whole story with grace, all the good, shit, bad, ugly, even the nightmares. That mindset of getting out of the victim mentality, taking back your power and damn, damn… become unstoppable. Like let’s take a look at Mike Tyson, I’m sure there’s a lot that he isn’t proud of and there’s just as much and more that he is proud of, starting from where you’re at and then becoming the best at it. Tyson got encouragement, after probably losing that from his own childhood experiences, just guessing from the parts I did gather. But just so you know, why the word impossible needs to really make its departure from the English dictionary. Mike Tyson was arrested thirty-eight times by the age of thirteen. Every person needs that one person one day that will influence/encourage them to turn their life around, that one person that doesn’t give up on them even if they’re about to give up on themselves. It’s a divine meeting, it’s divine timing. It’s a double-edged sword because that’s the moment you just start to realise that you are already a winner by not giving up on yourself. – T. Dench Patel, 29 April 2020, 16:13
I believe Tyson’s career record was a 50-6 with 44 knockouts. He landed fifty-six percent of his power punches which is some percentages over than the heavyweight average. Do you see how that still overweighs his legacy compared to how much he is worth in this day in age?
So, the question is, why are you doing it? Are you doing it for you or are you doing it to get validation?
When you start doing it for you, you will always be the winner against yourself, if you’re always doing it for validation, you’re always going to feel like a loser at something. – T. Dench Patel, 29 April 2020, 16:29
No award, no survey, no review, no certificate, nothing material, can rate your value as a human being, nothing external can, only the belief you have of yourself can. That belief can be worth more than any material thing that exists on our planet yet at the same time can get you any material thing you want on this planet. Ironic, isn’t it? – T. Dench Patel, 29 April 2020, 16:31
Don’t be fooled unless your record is really getting tracked which is what sportsman and sportswomen do, be just like the sportsman/sportswomen at your goals, become so good at what you do that it’s not even debatable. Whatever award you get that can’t track your performance is just the same as not having it in the first place. When you feel that without lack or loss, that’s confirmation that everything you’re doing, you’re doing out of your heart’s content. – T. Dench Patel, 29 April 2020, 16:39.
Forget that, Miss World, Miss Universe, Miss this and Miss that, Mr this and Mr that… Look around you… there’s one around every corner and you’re just as good, you’re good enough once you accept that for yourself. – T. Dench Patel, 29 April 2020, 4:44:44 (in the afternoon)
Encouragement lives on, validation kills the spirit – T. Dench Patel, 29 April 2020, 16:46
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by either purchasing one of my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to reevaluate them.
