Your children are not your purpose

Recently someone told me this, “I am giving all the opportunities to my son, it’s his time now. I don’t need to think about doing what I like.”

Many parents feel this way.

I’ve wondered a lot about single parents, as well as kids who have both their parents. I’ve also observed families where the parents still pursue their interests.

One thing remained clear. Happy parents = happy children.

I have often seen men pursuing their interests even after marrying and having kids, but many women stop.

In fact, have you been wondering for so long about something you miss doing or something you want to do that the little voice in your head keeps bringing it up?

That which keeps coming up in your mind is telling you a lot and what do most people do when it comes up?

They ignore it.

I’m not saying that your purpose will just show up if you haven’t had a chance to do a lot with your life in the past, but most people usually know what they’ve enjoyed in the past that they’ve given up or stopped doing.

Women! Your purpose is not your man or your kids!

Men! Your purpose is not your woman or your kids!

Women so often are attractive with all their interests, then they meet a guy, they slowly give up going out with their friends and then they slowly give up their interests and then they slowly start to feel empty and start thinking less of themselves.

Please, please, please! don’t let that be you!

If you are not sure about your purpose, it’s alright when you know it you will get the same thought coming up continuously and sometimes that might just be the place where it all begins.

No matter what your schedule looks like take at least 1 hour a week to do or learn something you think could interest you if time is something you don’t have much of. If you’re a busy mum or dad it’s time you try that something that you’ve been thinking of in a long time. That hour away from everything could be so good.

Look at this example. Perhaps you decide to join an art class. You go there on your first day and you’re nervous. You find out the following:

• There are so many people that you can relate to there.
• People are friendly and want to get to know you.
• You end up making good friends.
• You have a laugh and it’s fun.
• You enjoy painting and learn something new.
• You think how good it was to get out of the house.
• You find out you’re actually good at it or you find out that you want to keep practising.
• You find that you have opened up a number of infinite opportunities by just showing up and listening to that voice in your head.
• You find out it is no longer for you and move onto trying something new.

You return home and find that you can actually chat for 15 minutes or more with a friend you met at the art class.

You have just broken a pattern that you have been living for god knows how many years.

These steps that you take for yourself are NOT selfish. By nurturing yourself you will be nurturing your family. It all starts with you. If you are happy then only will everyone else be happy.

Most children are empowered by seeing happy and strong parents or parent.

I have seen too many parents give up what they like or what value they can give to the world by thinking their time is gone that they work hard constantly thinking about their kids’ future and giving all the opportunities to them because they believe they have lived their life.

This is not necessarily true. In the nine points above you find yourself in a place where you can learn what is happening to other parent’s kids and the current culture. You have equipped yourself with more awareness around your child and how you can help more.

You don’t have to do it all alone and let alone you don’t need to give up everything.

Are you the parent where your child says, “but mum I’ve never seen you doing that, you don’t know even know how to do it,” the minute you decide you want to learn or take up something you keep thinking about?

Kids will change their attitude. Kids are adaptable. The moment they don’t see you giving up on anything you become the powerhouse for them and the infinite opportunities that are waiting for you. One of those opportunities might just lead you to many great things.

Don’t give up on you and love yourself that’s when you find the power in not giving up on others and can love others.

Your children are going to end up having their own purpose. Most parents are trying to do a good job at parenting and you will always be there for them to help and support them, but you will be able to do a better job and happier job when you fulfil your own personal mission.

Remember you are an individual, your children are individuals, your partner or husband is an individual having a role in the family doesn’t mean you can’t pursue your individual interests, in fact, you will have more to give to your family by fulfilling your interests and passion.

Here is another article on the link below on the same topic. Hope this helps.

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/alyson-jones/children-purpose-in-life_b_10805988.html

T. Dench Patel

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