What if I offer this? From the ego, take the motivation, then check into your external reality, (ouch! This will hurt the ego a little but it will recover), your internal reality will shift when you capture the external reality, then take the motivation and drive towards the new internal angle aiming it to the bullseye i.e. your reason why. – T. Dench Patel, 8 October 2020, 22:25
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Here I was sitting and pondering on a topic on the list I’ve made to write a blog post,
But I’ve been staring at this blank, white page like a ghost.
This song, I wonder where you are has been playing for the last two days,
and if I know you, you’ll walk into my dreams like a blaze in the maze.
If you’re engaging with a person are you engaging with them because you’re truly interested in their answer or are you aiming for the weak spot to detonate? Just watch yourself to see where you’re stemming from when someone is responding to you. Are you deflecting what you’re reflecting or are you reflecting what you’re deflecting? – T. Dench Patel, 5 October 2020, 22:45 – T. Dench Patel, 5 October 2020, 22:45
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The sleep that the body demanded, like seriously I have never felt the body feeling so like it didn’t want to wake up, I don’t recall ever feeling like that. My body felt slumped that it dragged my entire self into a deep sleep even when the alarm clock sounded for me to wake up. I wouldn’t say it was depression because that came in later on (lucky I am pretty good at not getting in a very downstate, I often draw a line on it, especially on this topic). I was the queen of drawing lines, but somewhere from these four years prior to this point most of the lines rubbed off and that really stood out.
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…let people leave, it’s not personal. If they don’t want you, that doesn’t mean that you are at fault, it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy, it doesn’t mean anything. It simply means that what they want has changed (they want something else) or they’ve just chosen wrong and if that’s no longer you, don’t force it especially when someone has put a clear expiry date, without no more stories and drama. All they want is scot-free. – T. Dench Patel, 29 September 2020, 16:07
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So I started to play stupid and I guess I ended up gunning myself down, because there was a catch twenty-two, if I stayed my smart self, I’d be gunned down by someone else and if I stayed stupid (didn’t see this one coming until it happened) I gunned myself down. – T. Dench Patel, 28 September 2020, 16:22
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