COVID and social distancing is assisting bitter separations, divorces and the unmarried where children can’t see the parent with the least power

Hello friends,

hope you are well.

I wonder if you were wondering when we were going to talk about this topic. Many of you following this blog could possibly be a single mom/dad, divorced or unmarried parents with children.

Are you being given new court dates each time? Is the mother or the father of your child avoiding the document and the sheriff by playing the system and holding your child against you? Not only that, but you’ve also been on this rollercoaster for years or perhaps the nightmare has just begun. The truth is, there is a lot that was already a mess before Coronavirus even came, maybe it’s time politicians begin paying people to change old legislations and acts before we get more Gandhis and Mandelas changing their causes because they have two choices and those choices had nothing to do with them becoming a lawyer in the first place. The legislations and acts currently in use go against basic morals, values and universal laws because they haven’t been updated to current times.

Before I go into that, further down we’ll still be discussing the title of this article COVID and social distancing is assisting bitter separations, divorces and the unmarried where children can’t see the parent with the least power.

Want to guess what the two choices are…?

…

Okay, now at this point I can either leave you guessing or tell you the answer while some of you have already nailed it.

When you start working in the real world and realise that your beliefs, values, truths, morals are not going to change these laws. It’s become contrary (the biggest lie ever sold to you), Why? It’s going to take you longer to win that (changing over the law) than to win the case of the client who just walked through your door. You either do the job which your parents have worked so hard breaking their backs doing to fund your studies, you’ve spent years in getting this qualification and feel deceived by what you thought you knew to the true reality of how it’s turning out. The visualisations do not match up, the cause is not aligned. You’re here now, and some of you feel like you have no choice but to follow through. I am sure this is what Mandela or Gandhi thought. You’ll either become an activist from there on, it might be part of your purpose (please don’t let this article change your calling) that you feel truly and highly strong of. I am just posing what I know, and you’ll find out as you read on. You will try to do the right within the wrong that comes up, you will try your very best. I am sure you will.

You will, just to get the money, possibly trade all that is opposite to your purpose, the true values, morals, beliefs, truths that came from the true notion of bringing justice. The system has dragged you with it that you can no longer recognise who you were before becoming this, trading your soul for the fancy items you’ve got now.

This is the first time in history we are faced with a pandemic. You must be saying, cynically, “Oh, yeh Patel! As if we haven’t noticed” (for our young generation’s sake – my father is seventy-eight years old, not in his lifetime did he face something like this, not until now), if there is anything to learn then that is, God and if you don’t believe in God, then the higher power or universe is above all things, especially right now. The law of the universe/God/higher power is now in charge and has always been in charge.

I am sorry, if you are an aspiring teenager wanting to become a lawyer, as I’ve mentioned, please don’t let his article stop you if something solid and powerful has been guiding you to this profession for years even before you turned ten. I just want to present you with what I know and what I’ve observed. I have known lawyers who have given up their profession along with their reasons why so that they can serve a more just cause, a cause that doesn’t eat on their conscience bit by bit every single day as they play the game according to the act or legislation even if it goes against morals, values or universal laws.

Where can your law qualifications take you today? Oh! Gosh, you’re studying to be a judge, good lord and good luck to you mate! Domestic violence has increased, suicides, depression, unresolved court cases, custody battles, serious things that need a resolve especially if you know that case is the one that decides whether you will be alive or dead the next day.

So, there are currently many children feeling the psychological and physical strain of not seeing one of their parents, something that they’re carrying with unease but won’t voice to anybody. Why? Because here in South Africa and many third world countries, the voice of a child is hardly ever heard, it is quietened down if anything, simply and purely due to much larger injustices, almost like it’s low priority.

According to these statistics in South Africa on page six, divorces have been increasing every year in South Africa. You can find all the statistics including that of same-sex marriages. According to Stats SA, the latest here, posted on the 4 June 2018, there are four out of ten divorces before the tenth anniversary in South Africa.

This was the bit that surprised me the most. This article South Africa’s surprising DIY divorce statistics posted on the 18^th December 2018. When it comes to initiation and custody 62% of cases is the wife which contrasts with 51% of the cases countrywide. There is a gender stereotype which motivates women, even more, to initiate the divorce because women are seen as the primary caregivers: (according to the article) the stereotype is sustained in that 79% of the cases the mother gets custody of the children (now tell me how can a man even get any lawyer to win this?).

According to the article, 55% of all divorcing couples have kids under eighteen years of age.

The article on the link above is a good read especially if you’re South African and want to find out the percentage of people who divorce and what are the main reasons for this.

There are many reasons why South Africa’s social issues have become so shocking that South Africans themselves have gone so deep without drawing a line within themselves. The race relations remain toxic, and there’s still segregation after 25 years with no efforts to better things for those paying ongoing taxes their entire life in this country. There is no space in jails, the jails are seriously appalling, the corruption is high on every level, the domestic violence victims have nowhere to go really, it’s almost as if many South Africans adopt the thought patterns of “better the devil you know then the devil you don’t know.” This is why South African households are in deep trouble, especially when most families live together because it’s affordable. After all, affirmative action is leaving the excluded races out of jobs that people have to sacrifice and accommodate. South Africans have a fear-driven culture (understandable, especially if for example you get stabbed these days over a phone whether you’re a man or woman and have just welcomed twins a couple of months back) and many choices are made through fear, not trust, passion or freedom for instance. This is when these tendencies cascade into all other relationships this is why the country has so many social issues and other issues on many toxic levels.

Furthermore, I’ve left this link for more details on divorce and statistics.