Hello, dear readers and followers of this blog.
Hope you are doing well. This topic has been on my mind for years. I got to this article now because I had enough, enough of the rawness, evil, spite and even false claims against good fathers in South Africa who were thrown in jail with no proof whatsoever.
What got me to “enough is enough,” is when I heard that a mother and daughter acted as false witnesses for each other (for a crime that wasn’t even committed) because they wanted their son’s/grandson’s father out of his life.
These are the facts
The police came without a warrant into the property where the father lived. The father just arrived from work. He didn’t even know what happened or why the police were there. He said, “But you can’t take me without a warrant, and they said yes we can.” He never ate his dinner, was dragged out of his house, pushed into a police car by the police in front of his son. All this commotion in a lovely neighbourhood. The question that remains is, “Why such a huge lie when it was the father’s turn to see his child?”
The mother does not talk to the father and gets the child to say hurtful things to the father. She recently told the child to say what he didn’t want to say and told his father my mother told me to tell you this, “I don’t want to see you anymore you are useless.”
Now, we’re talking about the above event happening to a father that pays the child’s private school fees, the mother her gasoline to drive the child to school and back home because she wants her child to have very little contact possible with the father (the child can’t stay over at the father’s place), the father pays for the child’s tuition fees (which can’t be refunded because the mother didn’t like the idea), pays for the child’s swimming classes because the child wanted to go swimming (and lost the money) because the mother was against it (considering that the father is absolutely willing to go up and down for the child), pays monthly maintenance to the mother and buys his child’s clothes if he does need anything.
Apart from money, the father spends as much time possible with his son when he does get to see him, he does homework with him and after that takes him out and does all the things the child wishes to do with his father.
False claims sent to the police with no evidence backing up anything (just a mother being a witness for the daughter and daughter for the mother) and that is all it takes for a man to get arrested and spend a couple of nights in jail in South Africa. I think that is pretty dirty. What do you think? The father never gets to go on holiday with his son during the holidays and can only see his son for not more than two days if he is lucky, every two weeks (if he is lucky). Here’s is the biggest shit of it all. The women ran away with the child to another country when he was three years of age and told the father of the child that she is going to be in a coastal area in a place where they usually go on holiday. She married a man in Saudi Arabia, became his second wife over the phone, got beaten up in Saudi Arabia, and the son stated that he got a hiding for nothing.
This is the person South Africa allows to raise a child, to give full rights to and basically is saying I give you the rights to f*** up the father’s life, and in South Africa’s eyes, you are a fit mom! You have an invisible paper to do this so invisibly/intangibly that it is magic. It will give you the power to remove the father out of the equation totally.
The boy is shit scared of his mother, has an addict living in their home, is being raised in a very dangerous area, and is manipulated to such an extent that he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. The child had moved schools three times and is going for his fourth move because the school where the child was doing well (where he was with his father for that time) was pulled out by his mother without warning because she was unhappy with the amount of time he spends with his father. The psychologist’s report on this child future makes the father concerned, very concerned, and he can’t even move a finger.
When the child has to leave the father and the father’s side of the family, it’s like a funeral. Can you imagine, he just starts having fun and bonding and now he must leave.
When I interviewed this father I casually asked, “So what was the false claim made against you that you had to go to jail?” “They said I threw stones at their house,” said the father.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t know if the most ridiculous thing is the pettiness of the stones throwing claim (which is a lie according to the father) or the fact that the police can arrest you for stone-throwing when there were no neighbours or anyone else as witnesses apart from the two people fabricating the story playing the witness for each other.
“It’s so hard on the child. Say if he took the gate keys by mistake over the weekend, you have to just live with the fact that it’s something you can’t control and just hope that the keys weren’t duplicated by his mother to make a new claim. I can’t get the locks of the whole house changed when I have so much already to deal with,” says the father.
It sounds so vile to go through so much effort to get the father out of his life. This is not the first time that this is in question when it comes to this in this country (South Africa).
Take a look at these articles
There are many upset fathers, fathers who have paid so much money in legal fees and to lawyers. There are just as many lawyers giving false hope to, especially unmarried fathers when they know the percentage of fathers that end up getting full custody of their children. How is a father supposed to be a father when the fact is that an unmarried father is made exhausted by the mother to pay this and all the rest as well, is still doing his best so that he can to get custody of his son and ensuring that his son’s got more than the necessary. How is the father supposed to continue paying the lawyer fees then? This with the threat of if a father misses one maintenance payment, then he loses all his rights. Why should fathers be living on the edge like this just to see their children? Why are vengeful mother’s not being assessed by the law just the same as they put fathers through all these ordeals?
So, I did some digging around. Let me know your opinion or your experience around this topic. Please drop us a comment and or email us at email@example.com if you are a lawyer in South Africa who can seriously handle and have handled cases like these. If you think that this father stands a high chance of winning this case.
Take a look at further opinions from the public on this forum. For fathers/mothers as well in this situation.
If you are a parent fighting to see your child, you can join this community online.
Take a look at these articles.
You know, I can’t help to wonder, that any parent who stops their child from seeing their father, especially if he or she is a good father or mother, then that person has a lot of lack of self-belief and self-value issues to have no faith in the good and the best that can come to their child and them for doing the right thing.
T. Dench Patel