Hello, hope you’re well today. Most of all, I hope you’re happy and taking care of yourselves. It looks like it’s finally time to talk about this subject. I am not sure if you have been following most of my blog posts. Before I wrote this article, I wanted to write about several topics so that you can see how you’re standing in your own way and I’ve also offered some solutions for it.
There is still one heavy topic that I want to write about that forms part of you standing in your own way and I hope I will get round to it soon. I’ve been researching about it and trying the find the best angle so that I can write an intense post about it. That is truly one of the major obstacles that lie undercover so many people like a camouflage that it’s hard to see it and to catch it in the moment so that you can get out of your own way. The truth is that with this one you fool yourself and you can even fool yourself to think that you’re doing the right thing so much that you have no idea that you are standing in your own way. Let me just make you aware of it and yes, I will get round to posting the article of self-sabotage. I’m taking so long because I really want that article to hit people straight at the root of the problem that is real to so many. I really want you to get past that one.
I will discuss in lightly in this article because it deserves its own spotlight.
The definition of self-sabotage from yourdictionary.com
Self-sabotage
- The sabotaging, whether consciously or subconsciously, of oneself.
- To sabotage oneself or one’s own plans
You know with all the topics I’ve written about on this blog, we’ve just scratched the surface. We didn’t really go in deep. I wanted to bring your awareness of it first. You will see the deliberate intention was to take you on a journey if you’ve been following these posts. So that I can drop this bombshell on of an article on you and the one I have left to write. Although it doesn’t end at that topic. I will be challenging you more.
Do you see a pattern with my posts below? Scroll from bottom up with the topics.
Self-sabotage – Still to come
This article – Get out of your own way! “How can I? I have no idea I am standing in my own way.” 26 July 2019
Sitting on the couch caressing your self-pity? Poor You. Get the hell up and stop wallowing in it! – 24 July 2019
How queen bee syndrome affects women – 21 July 2019
Are you in alignment with the essence of you? – 19 July 2019
How can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself first? What does this sentence mean? – 17 July 2019
A traveller’s perspective from research and observation – Alcohol, depression and mental health – 12 July 2019
What is that thing that you’re most scare of being authentic about? 10 July 2019
The challenges that single women face, even abroad – 5 July 2019
Set the tone for the day – centre yourself – success habits – 30 June 2019
Do what the 1% is doing and not what the 99% are doing – 28 June 2019
What is a soul? – 26 June 2019
Are you an insecure person? – 12 June 2019
Self-blame – 9 June 2019
Endings aren’t always something that you’ve failed at it could basically be an end of a belief – 7 June 2019
Narcissists – 2 June 2019
What is your definition of God? – 29 May 2019
Having boundaries – 26 May 2019
Sayings, advice or certain things said by people that changed the dynamics for me – 24 May 2019
Are you living your truth? – 22 May 2019
Why do you think we are here on planet earth? – 19 May 2019
You got it without even knowing it… – 17 May 2019
Some ways to find balance and energy in the home space or even within yourself – 15 May 2019
Profanity – 8 May 2019
The good woman, the self-entitled woman and the princess – 5 May 2019
Communication or control? – 3 May 2019
What is your definition of success? – 1 May 2019
Fear: Face your fears and you will find yourself living a dream – 28 April 2019
Self-expression – 26 April 2019
What does going to your roots actually mean? Where is home? – 24 April 2019
Positive thinking – 19 April 2019
Trust and Intuition – Child to Adulthood – 14 April 2019
Intuition and Spontaneity – You have to do what feels right for you – 17 April 2019
Unconditional love – 10 April 2019
Why giving up isn’t an option – 7 April 2019
Trust the process – 5 April 2019
The power of listening – 24 March 2019
You are enough – 22 March 2019
Failing is part of the journey to success – 17 March 2019
This is your journey and not the next person’s journey – 13 March 2019
This article will change your life… – 3 March 2019
Limbo or Divine intervention? You decide what name you’ll give it – 27 February 2019
Don’t quit before the miracle happens – 24 February 2019
You’re not a forgiveness machine when it comes to some. How to forgive and leave those who keep operating from their own negative patterns – 22 February 2019
A must know secrets when creating your bucket list – 20 February 2019
The relationship you have with your mother or sister or father or brothers while growing up plays a big part in your romantic relationships in the future – 17 February 2019
The time is now. Do not wait any longer and do not wait until old age – 15 February 2019
Self-belief is one of the main reasons why you’ll end up pursuing your goals and even becoming successful at them – 13 February 2019
Employers fail to educate, supervise and empower women and then women make it difficult for other women – 10 February 2019
How different is the situation to someone who has died to someone you’ve ended an intense relationship with? – 6 February 2019
Society and religion put pressure on women and … – 3 February 2019
The power of visualisation or call it the power to dream – 30 January 2019
Victim to victory – 27 January 2019
The power of vulnerability – 25 January 2019
Taking risks – 23 January 2019
Choose your battles wisely or could end up having to give up the most worthwhile battle – 18 January 2019
The brain has two sides. Will you make it focus positively or negatively? Your life. Your choice. – 16 January 2019
What story are you telling yourself? – 11 January 2019
Running away from your responsibilities, taking shortcuts or the easy way out always? – 9 January 2018
Priorities: Are you putting your time into the right things or the wrong things? Right people or the wrong people? – 4 Jan 2019
Ever wondered why almost everything that some people do works out? – 2 Jan 2019
Is your family codependent? What is your role? Who does it affect? – 26 December 2018
Why you from seven and a half billion… – 16 December 2018
If someone only told you… – 12 December 2018
Become irreplaceable, here’s why! – 7 December 2018
For something to grow something must die, and some have died a thousand times… 5 December 2018
Change – 30 November 2018
Authentic Power – 29 November 2018
Bullying and the Bully: What happens later in life starts at this article – 20 November 2018
Jealousy and class – 13 November 2018
Your children are not your purpose – 11 November 2018
Are you feeling stuck – 8 November 2018
Choosing your career or your life purpose -2 November 2018
Living your best life without regret – 1 November 2018
Let Go: Give up the control, surrender and you will start living – 30 October 2018
What is estimating your worthiness? – 24 October 2018
Patriarchal societies and apartheid – 12 October 2018
I’ve been trying to show you ways in which you are holding yourself back or something out of your control which is holding you back. What is out of your control I am trying to say be aware, keep an eye on it but sometimes you just have to let it spin out of your control for your greater good.
The articles where I provided the solution I didn’t put down on this list. Now can you see that there can be seconds, moments and incidences that stand in our way or is it that we don’t have the right training to be able to get out of our own way? This is why I’ve written the topics above. It’s not an overnight process but it’s the beginning to make your life better taking all of these perspectives and awareness. I’ve also put some topics in the list above that you might have been seeking answers for so that you can move forward with confidence.
What are the habits you have that is standing in your own way so that you can understand this topic more?
- Are you scattered? You are doing a task, and then someone calls you to do something else.
Did you identify what task you should complete first? Complete the task that you were doing which you’ve decided to do before doing a task someone else has asked you to do. This task might not even be for you and more for them. Now I’m not saying do this at work. At work you need to do your responsibilities and work with several departments that you’re involved with.
This example I give is more for what happens at home.
- You don’t know your reason why and therefore you think it’s okay to waste time roaming around and letting your dreams pile up, until one day.
- Making excuses for why you can’t move forward
Does this sound familiar? “You don’t know anything, things work different there compared to here.” The truth is if you want it enough, you’ll get to it, and you will find a way to get to it.
- You’re not dreaming big, thinking big to see the bigger picture.
- You’re not centring yourself or practising any success habits and personal development and have harmful patterns and habits. You’re not challenging yourself and increasing your standards.
- You’re too focused on the outcome and often only focus on the negative outcome. You don’t set your thinking up to see a positive outcome.
- You don’t trust anyone else but yourself
Then ask yourself where did trusting yourself get you if you’re stuck in the same place or made very little progress and if someone truly is concerned about you and helping you then you could be standing in your way on the next point.
- You believe if you try and fail it’s the end of the world
The truth is everyone fails. They just dust themselves off and try again. This is why some people are more successful than others.
- You want to move forward, it lasts for a short period of time.
You finally trust someone’s information, you’re ready to go for it but then doubt yourself and fall back into your old shoes. The energy the person used on you is gone what was said to convince you. It went in through one ear lasted a week or more and out it went. You found enough reasons to fail yourself before even trying.
- You don’t ask for help
- You’re not practising self-love
- You’re not investing in yourself or in and your dreams
You have been self-sabotaging yourself all along…
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by either purchasing one of my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to reevaluate them.
