Oh! Nothing is going right; I’ve tried my best. Why can’t they understand this from my perspective?
Listen, don’t you ever say that can’t they think…? Wow, let me stop you right there. Most people will never think about adding the sum up and take time to think about how you got to where you got to. Most people will only look at your end result, not at the adversities of your journey. At the moment you are at right now, i.e. sitting on the couch caressing your self-pity – Poor Me. Get the hell up and stop wallowing in it! That my friend is the journey in between that every person goes through to go get to their end result and even the people who get to where for years they wanted to also have the self-pity moments like you, like me. This is the part that people don’t see when they meet a person who has sailed right through these adversities.
Look, my friend, unfairness happens every second to someone, and even right at this very minute you’re reading this article. I get you, and I get it. There are so many things that are not our fault, but things happened anyway. This is why you are how you are, and I am how I am. We all deserve better, and you and I both know that sure we will wallow in it for some time but this is the part, people fail to have an awareness and willpower to then take action and dispose it off before it takes over your whole life.
Life is unplanned for EVERYONE, and you’re no exception. Everyone feels pain, loss, lost, disappointed, and you know what it’s sometimes is just too much to cope with. Living as a victim is not helping you; in fact, it makes you feel worse that you fail to take any action and feel hopeless.
Signs that self-pity has taken over you
When you’re living your future carrying your past it is basically defining your life in a very negative way; loss, defeat, problems, vulnerable, helplessness, restricted and so many feelings that disable you to take control of your life that you sit and wait to be rescued.
Let me ask you a few questions? How long have you been waiting for the rescue mission to save you? If the rescue team does come, what is the price you have to pay?
The truth is people are living with this pattern wasting years of their life waiting. They could be waiting forever.
The only person who can get you out of this; the only person who can be the hero to save you is YOURSELF.
The past is done with, people have won the game then, people have got their satisfaction from bullying you then, paying you less than what you’re worth and the way you’ve been screwed over so many times is just like so many others in this world.
YOU DECIDE WHEN THIS STOPS; YOU CAN TAKE BACK THAT CONTROL, YOU CAN MAKE A TRUSTED DECISION TO WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL NOW, CLEAN THE SLATE AND START FRESH. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE.
Then have a party to get rid of your pity party once and for all… okay no jokes, seriously. Do a people declutter and get rid of the people who are serving your life negatively.
There are so many people around us who are struggling, and we don’t know what they’re like when they get home. At some point or another every person feels self-pity but look, most move on and what about the ones who have become successful writers, musicians, business owners or carved out a job and a lifestyle with a niche where they can help others through uncovering their strengths in their own adversities.
You have two choices, ultimately. Charge your own happiness and live in hope or choose to follow the negative news, the negative self-talk that flattens your life spirit. Charge your own life through hope, positive things, positive people and shine your light.
T. Dench Patel
24 July 2019
Do your self-pity thing and don’t hold it in because you will knock the cork off the feelings if you suppress them but then once you’re done, dust yourself up and let the self-pity go.
A person who has been living in the self-pity mode will defeat all odds of getting out there to make it to their dreams.
“It’s easier to assume you’re incompetent than it is to put effort in and discover that your worst fears about your abilities are true.” “This isn’t about giving yourself an excuse for failure, it’s about giving yourself an excuse to not try.” “Trying something and failing is a legitimate disappointment, but telling yourself that you don’t have the ability takes it out of your hands.” And I bet a lot of them are telling themselves that they actually aren’t good enough, or worse, that they are good enough but the world would never recognize their genius.”
When you’re in the dregs of self-pity, you almost insist on finding someone you can’t live up to in order to make yourself feel bad. If you envy one friend’s job and another friend points out that his long work weeks are making him lonely, you’ll obsess over a second friend who has a great career and a great social life. You’re not happy until you’re not happy. Once you’ve found a suitably ridiculous comparison, the excuses can start rolling in. “No matter how hard I work, Jeff will always have more money than me, so why should I even try?” “I’ve practiced the theremin for months, and I still suck, but Susan picked it up in days! Why do I bother?” Never mind that there’s plenty of potential steps in between doing nothing and becoming a millionaire or rocking a theremin solo to keep the band together — you’re just setting up lofty comparisons to dodge the fact that with a lot of hard work you could still make enough to buy a new TV or impress people at your local coffee shop’s open theremin night. You decide that you want to be the best, then you decide that the best is unobtainable, and then you quit with righteous anger rather than dull disappointment,” states the article on the link below.
Have a read it really is worth it.
Take a look at this article on this link which points out it’s okay to nurture self-compassion. It also includes a self-compassion mantra.
This article is also good, in putting the scenario of self-pity and describes it as a person who has been living in a mode without knowing about the issue all their life.
Here is another article that goes into detail of the 11 signs that you chronically self-pity.
It talks about the 11 signs that you chronically self-pity.
- You find it hard to laugh at life and at yourself.
- You tend to crave for drama.
- You tend to crave for sympathy.
- You tend to be an individualist.
- You tend to be a past-orientated person.
- You have low self-esteem.
- You have a melancholic temperament.
- Deep down you don’t believe you’re worthy of love.
- You have an unhealthy habit of being self-absorbed.
- You have a strong fighting instinct.
- You subconsciously feel guilty.
Check out this article too.
T. Dench Patel