Once, I had a customer who said I should book them in my agenda for six months down the line. Yes, I remember getting some weird looks from my team. From that day, I started believing that there was still a chance. I was called “la lura,” from that day on… from the day I closed the lead, yes, 6 months later.
I believe “la lura” means cuttlefish in English. It was fun giving “fish names” for the number of clients a salesperson in a team “caught”. “La lura,” was definitely a good one, I even brought the dead fish to life! That is why today I thought I will write an article on how to write a sales offer since the word “pitch,” kills most fish, almost instantly, yes, it’s an overused and retired word. It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer. How to write one? makes me think how sales pitch became more popular and the word “sales” sounded pretty dirty, around the year 2008.
For a long time in my life, I thought the feeling that people receive from the word “sales” has been damaged by “unethical selling,” I even tried to find various words to replace it but, sales is what it is, selling and then, when one no longer concerns themselves with selling and concerns themselves to serving, i.e., helping that’s when that person becomes an excellent salesman/saleswoman, yes, by replacing selling for “helping,” now that’s how one can change a customer’s life.
I hate to say this, in the end even when I was helping customers and making a lot of money from that, a lot of people hated on that, and if one isn’t smart enough, they can lose that helping streak that just keeps working for them because not everyone can convert and become the best in their craft, it’s almost like haters make the person who has earned the money by helping a customer seem like they’re greedy or have done something wrong by having earned so much money through sales. What’s worse is the customers were inbound, with very few outbound calls involved, even though, people’s nature was to find something to hate on. This is what I can offer you in terms of an educated opinion after working as a salesperson for one of the top 50 companies in Spain. This very wise Director has taught me how to sell, sell by helping, i.e., making sales/selling very clean and ethical.
Ultimately, it’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer. How to write one? is not the issue here, sales, or pitch, it’s the way the majority has taken to those terms and that’s how buzz words are created over time and trends.
Whether you are writing a sales offer, or are going to deliver it through speech, the following will be able to help you:
1) Educate the prospect with their solution sitting always in the centre of their pain points
If the prospect has contacted you that is because there is a need, there is something that they require from the person that they have contacted in terms of information, educated facts, statistics, or the large number of reviews that caused them to take action on their buying decision, however, they require more details. This would be referred to as a hot lead.
Let’s flip this on its head now, imagine one is approaching a cold contact. The key here is to create awareness of the pain that the potential customer doesn’t even know they have until the customer looks at what the offering is. On average a director may receive some 100s of emails in a day, so why and how should yours stand out? With regards to the stages of storytelling in business along with the awareness stage mentioned here, I suggest looking into this article The art of storytelling in business, it ties in nicely with today’s topic It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer. How to write one?
2) The subject heading or subject line
Test the subject lines that get more opens, there are several tools that one can use to test the open rates of emails, one I’ve used in the past a lot was https://www.hubspot.com/. These are a few ways to capture the attention of warm and cold leads.
The subject line with shared news
This subject line helps to relate with a solution that is relevant to what is in the sales offer, perhaps a new investor has merged with the company which shows the prospect the strength in the research or longevity of the product or solution.
Example: Nike has bought over Smart Shirts Inc. See what’s changed
The subject line with a question
Driving curiosity using a question is a great combination to get more opens. It helps to ask yourself if you were your avatar what would you be asking and what would you be wanting as the solution, answer to the pain point be it for a company director or a business solution or personal solution.
Example: Want to know how to get more time for you out of this digital organiser?
The How to subject line
The how-to subject line is self-explanatory and will catch the attention of the potential lead through interest, curiosity and even awareness to a pain point of the customer or the business.
Example: How to get 1000 hot leads a day
The subject line using curiosity
A subject line using the right words that most people could be curious about will lead to more opens, remember to make it relevant to the product or solution by selecting just a few particular words.
Example: Lost your hair? Want to know most fastest selling natural solution to that?
The subject line with comparison
Okay, now don’t get yourself sued on using another product as a comparison to the pain point of the prospect, however, we do live in a world where if one is usually mediocre then most are usually finding self-worth through comparison which is why comparing is another method to get more open rates.
Example: 15 reasons why directors choose us over our competitors
The subject line using scarcity
This subject line makes the reader feel like they are missing out on getting the product on discount that will run out soon, that stocks are limited, or that it’s only a limited time offer creating a push in the open rate. This subject line is usually very successful if the product or solution to the pain point is usually popular and expensive, it can be otherwise hard to use scarcity especially when the awareness about the product or solution is still growing.
Example: Buy our hosting for pro 70% less. Offer valid only until 15 January
The quickest and easiest solution to solve the issue subject line
This subject line plays on the psychological pattern of the human brain, i.e., wired to find a solution to the pain point working smart not hard. If the pain point can be resolved effectively and quickly along with low cost this is bound to get a large open rate.
Example: Last-minute meeting? This auto secretary digital organiser creates availability
The subject line with authority
Using the best statistics or even a well-known person who has used the solution in a subject line can position the brand and the company in a great light including increasing the open rate with a likely potential to convert.
Example: Here’s how The South African: True Colours helped Elon Musk. Here’s the review.
The subject line with the enticing solution
The solution or offering is unique maybe nothing even like it in the current market. Use the words that make this solution or offer one of a kind. If it’s a common resolution, then find words that make this specific offering different from others and then add those words in the subject line.
Example: This one-off long weekend offer has a 12-month expiry, even for Valentine’s Day
The to the point subject line
With the straightforward subject line, it’s a confident approach, especially if what the prospect is offered is valuable and as much as the salesperson believes it.
Example: Salesforce’s new version and improvements generate through the roof reviews.
The subject line with exclusivity
This subject line makes the prospect feel special and that the email has been written especially to/for him/her.
Example: We’ve selected you, use this code, this special offer runs out in 5 days.
The subject line with a case study
This subject line will be of interest to the decision-makers who want to see facts and the logical process to how well the product or solution is doing as proof that it is effective.
Example: How we got 30 000 repeat customers in 2 months since launching ______
The subject line using self-interest
Apart from just the product or solution a subject line that could bring more opens could be aimed at a cause that makes most people wonder or on awareness of a solution to a problem that points out that the prospect has an issue that he/she might not have even picked up on causing the action of reading even further for their own interest.
Example: Spend more time with your family by earning your full-time income in 6 just months
3) Back the conversation up with facts
Having statistics and facts helps formulate the answer for the prospect instead of selling the product and just saying what it does and how much it costs. Facts help a prospect determine for themselves how effective the product or solution is to their problem.
4) Write about the benefits of the product or solution
Tying in the benefits along with the facts in the point discussed above assists in the flow where It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer and how to write one without sounding so salesy but more focused on helping the prospect showing/demonstrating that it’s not only about the sale and that the needs of the prospect are placed in the forefront rather than a quick sale.
5) Capture the prospect’s attention
Whether it’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer and how to write one is where this point comes in. It is one of the most important points to a successful sales offer. Making the sales offer stand out from the subject line to the open and then read. It boils down to using a writing style and words that are not difficult to understand yet also not the norm in what a decision-maker reads in the hundreds of emails they receive in a day. There are only so many buzz words that one can use until it sounds like it’s expired.
6) Ensure you have the correct decision-maker
won’t matter after all the efforts on It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer. How to write one? will all be gone after much effort has been placed on the offer without it reaching a decision-maker which is why you got the job in the first place, right? Research the decision-maker and their likes and dislikes so that point number 5 may pitch sorry It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer along the right lines resonating with the decision-maker, almost creating synchronicity that this is the solution or product he/she is looking for, they just didn’t know it until now.
7) Ask for the sale
It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer. How to write one? will lose its point if the call to action hasn’t been made, at the end that is why you have written the sales offer in the first place, however, using standard language use in asking for the sale no longer works these days, provide the link to the purchase, offer to book in a meeting with several dates and times. A response, some response shows that it’s a live one even if it doesn’t seem so, it is a sign that some buying idea is sitting on the decision-maker only the obstruction needs to be removed via perhaps a conversation to finally get them to purchase it. That obstruction could simply be very minor yet seems large to the prospect, once that has been taken away, there is no reason why the prospect will decline from purchasing it.
8) Use psychology
The question is It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer. How to write one? will depend on which side of the brain you are appealing to for the buying decision to be made, ideally, the right and left will assist in the buying decision and for this to occur storytelling also play an effective role in the sales process.
The left brain is logical, focused on facts, realism predominates, planned and orderly, math and science-minded, prefers non-fiction.
The right brain is emotional, focused on art and creativity, imagination predominates, occasionally absentminded, prefers fiction, enjoys creative storytelling.
9) Follow-up
Can you imagine how many emails a decision-maker gets in one day? It is bound to happen where the email won’t be opened at first, always follow up, at least give it 3 shots or more, until you receive some response, even if it’s a no, or a response to reach out again in a couple of months.
10) Be systematic
Draw up the sales offer systematically, firstly making the subject line catchy, then try and keep the attention of the prospect in the opening lines of the email. Create some hook in every paragraph that makes the prospect stay to read on, beginning by selling a product without first giving any of its benefits, statistics, stories, until the end which is where you should ask for the sale can be a disservice of the product, the solution that you have been given to serve the prospect with, which could have helped them if the write-up was systematically taking the prospect along the stages until they reach the buying decision.
11) Grammar
Last but not least, It’s no longer a pitch, it’s a sales offer. How to write one? is grammar, a very important aspect of writing anything be it a sales offer, a book, a short story, an email, a case study the quality of the writing gives the impression of the brand and its standards. If the details are taken care of nicely the first impression comes across professionally.
Now, what would be of this sales offer if I didn’t leave you with a call to action. Alright, if you loved this article then purchase my books The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer, and Light and like, share and comment on this article.
Otherwise, here is an additional resource that can also help in writing a sales offer.
15 proven ways to make a sales offer
Being in a shop and having a customer come in is so much easier than selling SAAS, I mean at least there’s a chance to get their attention face to face when they answer, “I’m just looking.” The chances to get them to buy are much higher in a shop than on the phone. At least the shop assistant can break that objection down by answering, “Well, Christopher Columbus was just looking, and look what he found!” On the phone, you can’t even pull them back with your chord.
You can also have a look at the It’s no longer a pitch it’s a sales offer. How to write one? short video.
Drop us a comment below and follow us or share this article on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook.
Anyways, in our next article, we will talk about having trouble committing to your writing goals?
See you then!
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
