Do you really get to leave the patriarchal society behind if it has been passed on from one generation to the next even if your family are modern?
Here’s a point of view of the segregated Indian Patriarchal societies and apartheid.
Women in patriarchal societies made sacrifices during the Apartheid era in South Africa and many of them were forced to accept and/or couldn’t escape domestic violence.
Let’s face it! Sexism and violence against women existed even before Apartheid.
With regards to the years of Apartheid, the number of Indians that arrived in South Africa were from India considering British India won its independence in 1947 (India and Pakistan split) the year after 1948 is when South Africa started the Apartheid regime.
Along with this immigration route, patriarchal societies and apartheid was becoming an explosive combination.
According to BBC India, as of 2020, the number of housewives committing suicide has increased. An average of 61 suicides every day i.e., every 25 minutes with the major reasons citing domestic violence in a government survey. Many women also report marriage issues and “family problems”.
Indian communities are usually very tight-knit. Settlers from India, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, or any other country often follow their culture and practices even if they have moved countries and then pass it on to the next generation but with patriarchal societies and apartheid, there was little room for betterment due to the political system.
Being an Indian woman during apartheid made you extremely vulnerable. It was safe for a woman not to work, and her role was that of a housewife majority of the time. Some Indian women either worked for someone they knew within the Indian community or got employed by their brother or a family member.
Segregating people into areas of their race, cultures, and beliefs made things worse if you were a woman. There was no protection for women. What happened down the road on the left and down the road on the right didn’t mean that wasn’t happening in your own home. It was acceptable because everyone else did it and they could get away with it, after all, moral values and social values were low when you have an immoral political system in place where one or 50 people were not going to change even in 10 years.
In the Hindu culture arrange marriages seem to be a norm back then and the parents of the woman will just hand over trust to the male without any proof. They believed (believe in recent years) in a man’s word more than that of their daughter (this is changing by the day at this day in age). A daughter felt forced to accept and by some wishful thinking she usually hoped her life with this man was going to be a good one, but if for some reason the marriage was going wrong the pressures were all on her. It is and was shocking to the extent parents believe and trust a man whom they hardly know before even standing on their daughter’s side from the first instance or even researching the boy’s history and family properly. Sometimes they would even listen to their son even if he is younger than his sister. Most make naive and emotional decisions while a very small percent do pay attention.
With Britain having become so advanced by the time Mahatma Gandhi arrived the combination of patriarchal societies and apartheid didn’t help women become more independent.
Indian women in the past and even to this day are kept out of business matters, knowledge about the family wealth, sometimes even the best education, etc. Within the Hindu culture, her role was often to be the “housekeeper”. After the trust of their daughter’s future is handed so quickly and irresponsibly all her belongings and wealth get handed to him too whether she may or may not have control over her bank account. Back then Indian women did not know about managing their money, controlling what is theirs in case their daughters were one day in trouble and least to say she didn’t know the meaning of equality or equal rights. Now, don’t you already see flaws/grounds to the beginning of domestic violence?
Back then having an arranged marriage was a pot of luck. You were lucky if you had a good man and too bad if you had a bad man. A very tiny percent of women had the guts to leave unless their circumstances were different.
Once this is done and dusted a new generation is born who then become even stronger and powerful than the last. The girl has a different bringing up and the boy has a better bringing up and future ahead of him if the cycle/pattern continues.
So, what happens to this generation who have no idea that they have been led to live a life that is false i.e., perhaps growing up in a patriarchal society, in Apartheid, in a home with domestic violence?
Have a look at the article below from the guardian.
Nearly 2 out of 5 women who commit suicide are Indian
How blind and manipulating can things really get? Have you experienced this or something similar? Have you lived through the era of patriarchal societies and apartheid?
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Initial publication date of this article was on 18 October 2018
Updated on 10 May 2022.
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
