Hello friends,
hope you are well and had a lovely weekend.
Yesterday I was cooking, no, not literally cooking but I think the South African heat was trying to make biltong out of me. Yes! I survived, I resisted becoming biltong, let’s say if the sun did win, I guess, that would have made me a very tasty biltong ? , but I really didn’t fancy becoming a piece of fresh dried meat. Alright, let me stop right here before I open up a can of worms and end up making myself the pound of flesh in The Merchant of Venice 2. I prefer eating a fleshy peach on a hot midsummer night’s dream instead of becoming the pound of flesh. Okay, stop… stop…stop…stop before my Shakespearean side starts taking over this entire article. The last thing we need is a fight breaking out in the Capulet family feast, what! I mean in T. Dench Patel’s blog feast.
Alright, let’s get right in, before the Shakespearean side returns, quick… ready!?
It’s been a couple of days that I started to rewrite seven years of affirmations. I’ve started reading a set of affirmations which came up on my phone while standing and waiting for my train from Farnborough to Reading. I initially started listening to affirmations in the year two thousand and fourteen, I used Paul Santisi’s affirmations to reprogramme my mind. I wrote this article in March 2019 if you did want to refer to it, i.e. The power of affirmations. Now after doing the fourtopia challenge (to find out more about this, take a look at the article on my blog titled How little things tell a big tale, dated on the 8th September 2020), I really went for it, you know, I went all out even on doing a declutter, and so while I did that declutter I realised it’s time to do a mental, digital and somewhat an internal evaluation at what I’m saying to myself on the daily basis and so it began, I revisited those seven years of affirmations which I have been adding to and decided to reword them using empowering language or at least seeing if there are empowering words in them.
Empowering language starts with you, how you communicate to yourself first and foremost before letting out the frequency of your thoughts, words and actions into this world. It all starts with your programming before the thought comes to mind. Furthermore, living in South Africa and noticing people’s language, first and foremost in my home, then when they talk even on the television, radio, in the shops etc. I noticed the language; I’ve noticed the mindset and I re-evaluated some of my own beliefs as much as the beliefs of others here in South Africa. I’ve decided to pay attention, reason being, what has come up in the time spent here with all the knowledge I’ve been gaining in five countries in total, understanding why people say what they say, how they say what they say has made a statement to my mind’s eye. It literally made me re-evaluate the younger T. Dench Patel who you read about in The South African: True Colours and in The South African: Roamer. I also can literally see two different worlds and now I can see where the old me came from. I asked why this country has so many toxic subjects that haven’t been resolved over time? Why so many people behave or think in toxic ways? I began to see circumstance, after circumstance of millions of people which creates disempowering language. It’s not their fault, just like it wasn’t mine. We weren’t taught any better because we’ve grown up not even seen the best or let alone having it available and tangible to us without pressures and circumstances.
So, when I arrived in South Africa, I had my very own culture shock and at the same time, I must say some things were awesomely refreshing. I found it particularly strange how toxic language was “a thing,” I mean why would you think it’s a good thing to greet your male friends with, “Hey, B***h,” bizarre, and the man responds, “Hey p***y, howzit going?” strange language! I thought I was in Gangster’s Paradise suddenly. I’m glad I no longer hear that. The first time I heard that my ears were so sore. Then this one, “Don’t waste money!” so I had to start changing the language around me and help people understand the power of their words and the way they use it creates their reality. Then the South African creole came in to play, and then it became all about teaching my nephew proper English and if proper English meant I had to bring out my British English teacher language into the picture then that is what I will do if that is what it will take. Jesus! I must have been a right finger pointer in the first few months, but I really needed to get the thing into shape if I was going to create a T. Dench Patel friendly environment. I think the proudest part is that my parents took it on board, and they saw the angel sorry I mean angle I was coming from and that’s really when the entire family started changing.
This is the greatest reward when you use empowering language. I mean from day one since returning to South Africa some people who knew me from years ago saw me on the streets, some people even came in our own home and used disempowering words (no fault of theirs). With the grace of God, universe, source (call it what you want) I took it as part of my evaluation. It’s taught me so much, like if you’re really making a joke, then make a real joke, not at the cost of having a swipe at someone. If you’re asking a question then let the person respond, stop making it an interrogation camp before they even finished answering that question. It becomes very obvious, very obvious the path you’re choosing by the questions you’re asking. People are not stupid, it’s stupid of a person to think that someone else is stupid – T. Dench Patel, 5 October 2020, 22:40
If you’re engaging with a person are you engaging with them because you’re truly interested in their answer or are you aiming for the weak spot to detonate? Just watch yourself to see where you’re stemming from when someone is responding to you. Are you deflecting what you’re reflecting or are you reflecting what you’re deflecting? – T. Dench Patel, 5 October 2020, 22:45 So, for me particularly I’m always looking out and reviewing where I am coming from. The first thing I ask myself is, “Am I coming from lack?” because this for me was one of the greatest challenges of my past. Believe it or not, jealousy and envy weren’t my demons, more the decisions I chose because of the times I’ve been rejected in my life and that feeling that it gave me in my past of not being worthy made me choose what thought was worthy of me (and that could have been just any junk). I chose it in a snap because I didn’t believe I had the power to choose and choose that which is the best damn thing I am really deserving of (hence why I can write such amazing articles… thank you, thank you as I bow my head down ?).
What I’m learning from South Africa and my community of entrepreneurs is to choose the most powerful place to respond from, question from, choose upliftment and empowering questions that don’t lower other people or yourself (you know just the right touch of words). Choose the question or the answer that will make the most difference to the person who is asking it be it for themselves or others so that they or you leave the conversation knowing that no time was wasted in anything petty that it felt empowering for both parties. It’s hard training the mind to be accountable to yourself with your politeness, with you not crossing boundaries when you know you can. Doing the right thing in life takes discipline especially when you are in a powerful position damn well knowing you can get away with it, believing that nothing out there is watching, but something is watching everything. Neither am I a perfect leader, I am trying daily to build this muscle using the power of my mind until one day I can make something of what it’s teaching me and me being willing to learn so that I can live to be an empowering example to others. Adopting empowering language also comes from the right timing i.e. knowing when to speak and when to listen. See it’s easy to hand out words when you don’t feel them so reviewing the language you use is great so that when you replace the words that don’t give you any feeling to ones that you do, feel and resonate with, you start to really mean what you say. This is what people feel, i.e. people remember how you make them feel.
Be that flower in the desert – T. Dench Patel, 5 October 2020, 23:25
Yours sincerely,
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by purchasing my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to re-evaluate them.
