It is ultimately the stories that one tells themselves that gives them the life they got and walk through life elegantly.
Living in five countries, travelling to over a dozen, immersing into a new life which was different from the culture I was brought up in has allowed me to observe both the world outside of me and inside of me.
Some people can choose to change while others are forced to change. When you’re forced to change due to your circumstances you have no choice but to change your mindset especially if you want to succeed.
Sometimes to teach yourself a new pattern you might even have to trick yourself for a couple days or even thirty days if you’re looking to get a new habit.
Look, there are a lot of things you can tell yourself to get to something i.e. be it a goal, a better marriage or relationship, good habits, more willpower, starting your own business, leaving a toxic relationship and building a new life after, how to manage after a life changing event which has left you paralysed or less mobile, and you know this list gets bigger.
You can choose to focus on the positive or you can choose to focus on the negative.
This is where what you’re telling yourself really matters. This is going to determine the quality of the life you lead. Your mind will create the mood you’re in and it is your mind that will play tricks on you. How do you know what you should believe and what to ignore?
I will pose a question. Do you really think that some of the lives you see out there is how it appears? Everyone is struggling in some way with something. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have any problems and as soon as they resolve a bunch of problems there are new ones. Even the most successful people have paid a price to come this far and keep paying a price.
The two suicides of celebrities Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade makes the topic around suicide so real that it can happen to anyone. You just don’t know the amount of pain hiding in people who look like everything is going great.
So this is why I find this topic so important. Be aware of what you are telling yourself and how much of the negative things you are going to believe. There is nothing to lose in believing in the positive to get you through things and you know what even if it’s a temporary positive illusion to get yourself out of the darkness then yes I would even go for that until you’re strong enough to really tell the negative stuff you tell yourself to go and f*** off.
It takes practise to tame the mind but knowing who you really are and what you’re made of is crucial. Remind yourself of all the things you’ve made it through, that you’re still here today and that you still didn’t give up. Remind yourself of all your good values, what you stand for and that it’s that piece of you that got a piece of this planet we live in alight.
I was the last person people thought would think about suicide and the fact that I’m here on this planet and made it through some really hectic things tells me that I have a whole lot of good things left to do on this planet. I had to do a lot of work around my thoughts.
The following things have worked and still work for me:
- Meditation
- Affirmations
- Visualisation
- Gratitude
- Prayer
- Exercise
- Eating healthy
- Acquiring mentors
- Learning (reading books, listening to entrepreneurs, listening to people who I see as role models, or seek the knowledge that I feel I require)
- Sit in silence and observe my thoughts
- Listen to uplifting music
- Meet like-minded people
- Guard my beliefs, values and what I’ve acquired and acquire so that nothing negative can infiltrate it.
These days I go with the flow as I’ve had to work on myself for a couple of years, the way I go about doing things today is a bit different as I feel stronger however points 1 -13 remain consistent even to this day.
I have learnt some new things along the way and you too will intuitively know what is best for you once you feel stronger.
There are a lot of beautiful things to live for, seek that instead. Your life is a gift and your presence alone is a gift to others.
Positive thoughts create a positive reality while negative thoughts will create a negative reality. – T. Dench Patel
T. Dench Patel
Thank you for the comments and support. Thank you for offering to donate if there was a donate button on here. I prefer not to take donations. You can support by either purchasing one of my books (Paperback or Kindle), The South African: True Colours, The South African: Roamer or my children’s book Light. These books can be found on Amazon mainly and other sites in your country.
The audiobook for The South African: True Colours is available on iTunes, Apple and Audible. The South African: Roamer and Light will be released soon.
Note: Do keep referring back to this site as much as possible, as I grow, a more profound perspective may form and so I will always come back to each of these articles to reevaluate them.
