How are you today?
Hope the week is being kind to you.
Hope you’re enthusiastic about life. I am already seeing a lot of Halloween preparations happening, and I guess you too are seeing Christmas decors selling with the Halloween decors.
So, here we are going intensively into this topic. I have touched on this topic lightly here
I wanted to go into the topic of focus today because no matter where you are in life and no matter how much wisdom and self-control you have.
- It is always challenging to control your attitude and words when something unpleasant is said or done to you or if you have said or done something unpleasant. It can be difficult how yours or the other person’s attitude and words can affect you and them.
- It is challenging when you have to do something to change, but you don’t want to do it because you are too comfortable in your comfort zone.
- I am sure there are so many areas in life you can lose instant focus, even lose focus for a day and several days because of several external and internal things that are out of your control or that you are trying to keep in control.
See, I have been coaching several people lately, and I’ve noticed some things going on with them emotionally, physically, and mentally. Mindset doesn’t just happen overnight. You can’t just learn mindset and then not physically do the work; you can’t just physically get anywhere without mindset in place and emotions affect a person both physically and mentally.
So, where should focus begin and how do you catch yourself in the moment? Hopefully, this article, combined with the article on the link, should help you piece the whole thing together. Let me know if you need more help or questions through the comments, and I will respond.
Alright, so I noticed most people that are trying to start somewhere and give up after two-three short term attempts have all or some of these issues. Also, what are your answers to some of the questions here? This will help you get awareness around what you haven’t looked at or considered.
- The only consistency you have is the consistency of giving up.
- You don’t have a routine or a schedule and never in your life had one.
- You say you work hard and I’m sure you do but are you mindful at what you’re doing or are you on autopilot?
- Do you get distracted quickly instead of focusing on one task at a time or are you always multitasking?
- Is your mind present when doing most things, or is it on some island in the middle of the ocean?
- How often do you commit to a yes to change a particular habit and how long do you follow through until you give up?
- Do you encourage yourself and do you motivate yourself?
- Do you read?
- What are your eating habits? Meaning are you a Tasmanian devil eating anything and everything that is in your sight or in the cupboard?
- Do you care about your self-image a tiny bit?
- Your sleeping times are anytime and vary from day to day. You might even fall off to sleep at your job.
- You don’t really think about what you’re saying yes or no to.
- You don’t make a list of things you want to change, and self-love is a foreign word to you until I mentioned it now.
- Fearful of change or any threat that could cause you to change; getting out of the comfort zone.
- “Ah, people manage time, that’s ridiculous,” is your response the first time you heard that people manage their time.
- You give your time to people who don’t deserve your company, spend your time on meaningless things and meaningless thoughts.
- You’re not changing your thought patterns.
- How do you communicate via email, messages, or messages through apps? Is it usually interpreted wrong or the other person doesn’t understand often?
- Do you find yourself not knowing that you’re disturbing someone or when to bother them?
Now can you see the challenge for a coach if you’ve answered the above questions honestly to yourself? You see where the focus is missing and why you’re giving up so quickly? I am not going to ask you if you’ve been meditating for years because I already know the answer to that if most of your boxes are ticked on the 20 points above. If you did meditate daily, then you would have had a routine or partly a routine.
If you have started meditating that makes the most important part of your routine. Why?
For you to begin to focus, you need to gain awareness. When you gain awareness, you will tackle the above 20 points intentionally, and the small changes will just start to happen in your subconscious mind. When this shift happens, you will make massive progress, and for this to happen, it doesn’t need to take years of practising meditation all it requires is your commitment to consistency. I believe you’d need some mindfulness meditation. When you commit to consistency, you would already have all the reasons why you should focus.
Focus on changing the story in your head when you find yourself being emotionally, physically and mentally challenged to one that is, “What is this teaching me today and how can this make me a better human being? Is there some information missing or something I am not seeing?”
During misunderstandings, arguments, someone whom you’ve learnt hasn’t acted with integrity in your opinion, something you’re affected by, etc. it’s hard to get focus and balance. It affects you physically, mentally and emotionally. You could be draining yourself out. Calm yourself down, know that this is temporary and it’s teaching you something. Stay in silence but not in darkness if that is what you need. If you focus on what you can learn, how you can do this better, how to manage situations like this in the future, then you should already be heading in the right direction with the right focus.
T. Dench Patel