It’s easy to tell I’m married; yep, I’m married to you all… I’m busy updating my website on a Friday evening. 😉
Before you know it … I’ll be taking reservations for midnight kisses on a Friday… Look out for the sign-up form :D.
Hmm, on second thoughts, I might just end up dropping the price of some of my books on Black Friday…. I knew it! That sounds good… You like that, right? Only those who are reading my blog knows about it.
Alright, I’ve come to this topic because of soooo many reasons.
Over the last year, a lot of people told me about the problems they are having with their partner/friends/siblings/family and did you know why? The number one reason was/is because of money.
Now for an outsider to understand this, especially when you know your friend/family member/husband/wife in and out it’s difficult. The truth is that you only know well those who you live/lived with.
I thought I’ll write this article to help people and to raise awareness of something they might have overlooked.
Yes, in today’s time we do have this problem as the belief comes from sooo back that the more money you have, the safer you are, or the idea of having as much money as possible as a backup in case there is an emergency has been ingrained into a lot of people. How can you be safe from a branch that can just happen to break, fall and might even knock you out for life while walking on the street, for example?
Here are some signs to help you understand your relationship with money and if you now come to find that you are addicted to or obsessed about money, then thank god… (better late than never) I really hope you are going to turn things around BEFORE you lose what really matters in your life.
- When you don’t even consider sorting out your daily, weekly and monthly activities with your own money and are stingy with it to run the necessary activities, then you are addicted to cash, especially when you do have it. However, still, you have this mentality that you always won’t have enough.
- You live like you’re poor or something.
- You have enough money, but you think you will never have enough. So you ignore your health issues and relationships; that is not giving time and investing in people and your health by forming the right habits which would mean you will lose a certain amount of hours from your day/week for you and not for making money.
- You’re not participating in taking on responsibilities and have a sense of self-entitlement; everyone is there to serve you.
- You think paying off people and buying things is a sort of investment, or you even buy people off.
- There will never be enough money ever…
- You tie self-worth to cash, you have self-worth based on the value you have, making you judgemental to those who value other things, and not only money.
- You go cheap, the cheap route for everything, quality isn’t something you’d consider meaning that you’d hardly even spend on yourself.
- You only think of receiving cash, and your behaviours are all around that.
- Risky behaviours and your beliefs around being even richer means you must gamble (this can be literal or in other ways)
- People who are obsessed with money don’t want to educate themselves. Because of that, when they do receive money the old education and beliefs they sit with are outdated, making them lose what they invested in because that no longer works in today’s times. Because you think you are the guru, say, for example, taking advice from those who are knowledgeable on the digital economy or more advanced ways of making money through learning and proved ways sounds like a scam which doesn’t help you to advance in making money with healthy concepts like the way entrepreneurs and coaches try to teach.
- Isolates and obsesses – Please read this article – Money addiction signs -This whole paragraph has been taken from the article on this link above. “A definite sign that a person has a money addiction is isolation and depression. Because spending time with friends and family can involve spending cash, the addict will often isolate. Alone with their thoughts, they may obsess over the obtainment of money and worry about financial resources. Over the course of time, this reclusive lifestyle can cause a deep and serious depression. Almost always, the person’s social life is anemic. In extreme cases, some people even sleep with cash as a way of boosting their spirits. That’s how attached they are to being around cash.” (This part reminds me of the ending of the movie Slumdog Millionaire)
- Money is in the centre of every conversation, every solution and every argument.
Now, my friends who can relate to this? Can you see why you/your friend/family member/partner/husband or anyone else close to you needs help?
Good news, it’s not the end of the world so please let’s not have the same ending like the movie Slumdog Millionaire here 😊.
Where to begin on the road to recovery. This is just my opinion from mastering some considerable hurdles in life (haven’t had a money related addiction), but I have been around some wealthy people and observed a lot.
T. Dench Patel’s recommendation on how to start recovering
1) Communicate with those who care about your wellbeing now before it’s too late, tell them the issue, your difficulties, seek forgiveness and their support.
2) Stop comparing and holding onto how your life should have looked like. Get real and stop being a fake. Become your own person. You’re obviously meant to be greater, but you can’t see that right now.
3) Don’t drop everything to become a monk unless that is your calling. You will need to keep paying the basics. Evaluate how to make time for you and remove the unnecessary for now. Let it happen, especially if it’s making you depressed and sick.
4) Begin to form a schedule where you make it a must for “you time”. This can be some meditation but definitely get a little journal as you will need to start writing at least five things you’re grateful for every single day (please don’t let it revolve all-around money. That is not the point of the gratitude journal). If you’re right-handed write with the left hand and if you’re left-handed write with the right hand. The reason why I put meditation down (start with mindfulness meditation – look it up on YouTube) is so that you can with time catch yourself right at that thought. With time you will have the ability to be aware of it first and then change it to something healthier. Then swop between chakra meditation and mindfulness meditation say after three months. Please practise this every single day.
5) Start changing the activities you have in your day and learn to let go. Let go of the idea that money is supposed to solve everything. Begin to trust in your existence and journey which will lead you to believe that you’re worth much more than what you’re settling for and that will come to you in due time (currently you need to beat this demon to get there), just don’t chase it and don’t force it.
6) Start valuing your actions and give time away to the people in your life that care for you and you for them and understand challenges will always be around. You can’t have everything in life set up without having any challenges. Problems are always going to come up so you can’t become a slave of it by slaving away making money to solve it. Some issues are there to teach you that it’s bigger than you, so let it go, it’s for the greater good. Again, this is trusting in your higher-self and life, hence why meditation is helpful. Some problems are blessings, but you won’t ever get to see the blessing if you are living beyond your means, trying to solve a blessing trying to enter your life. By doing that you’re blocking the miracles from coming into your life due to your beliefs around money and control.
7) Start looking at what you have and not what you don’t have; hence the gratitude journal. This should pull you out of the depressive state and the vision you’ve expected for your life at this age. The chances are you will be there one day, just not now because you need to pass this stage for an important reason. It’s for your greater good. Please, I want to see you pass with flying colours, okay?
8) Understand that you don’t get to solve all the challenges; problems are there to challenge you. You are not made to serve yourself; you are being taught to stand tall for others through your challenges. Every challenge is a weapon you will have on your side when you overcome it.
9) Live in the present; the hear and now will not ever return. Living in the future and past is making you miss what is happening right now. You’re trying to make a bucket list to reach your goals; not a regrets list.
10) Laugh, smile, be you and let go of that person who attached themselves to these beliefs and especially money. Become who you’re meant to become; abundant in a healthy way. Become social and be all there even if it means changing who you hang around with. Don’t be with people who knock you down unless they do have good intentions in trying to get you off your high horse for valid reasons but know when enough is enough. Become 100% the renewed you and watch how much you will begin to attract amazing things without even trying.
11) Meditation will help you to change most thought patterns as you continue with time, which will have your body, mind and spirit radiating with positivity. It’s this that you ultimately want to change so that you can honestly know that you are worth it and that you don’t always have to strive for abundance. Abundance is your natural right (without having the self-entitlement attitude that being ungrateful brings).
12) There are no shortcuts to making massive amounts of money and avoiding responsibilities without putting the work in for self-development. The thing with self-development is that when you start working on the inner issues, you begin to attract the good into your sphere from within you. Right now, you’re trying to pull something from the outside within you. Happiness brings success and success doesn’t bring happiness.
13) It’s going to be okay if you do the above. You’ll see people won’t let you down by means of emotional support and for god sake start making the effort on those who make an effort on you without forcing it or feeling like you owe them. You will be alright. You’re claiming your life back through healthy habits.
14) The funny thing is, when you begin to live a life where you’re grateful to the bone, that’s when the overwhelm comes in… your dreams that you thought were forgotten begin to come true. When this happens, just keep doing the work and don’t create a cut-off point to your abundance, keep riding it without greed, ride it with purpose and pleasure. 22:54, T. Dench Patel, 14 November 2019
This is T. Dench Patel, looking out for your happiness, wellbeing and fully intuned on this topic because I know you’re hurting. I see it, feel it and want to help you.
God bless you!
Overcome money addiction (some people who left comments don’t gamble but resonate to having an addiction/obsession with money)
T. Dench Patel