There was a lot of immoral laws, values, mistreatment of people during apartheid. I would say that anyone from twenty-nine-years upwards has been affected by apartheid at this current moment in time. The consequences the people in South Africa have to now live with, I wonder if it’s a part of the transition (hopefully not going to last long) to a more moral society in the future. A lot of men didn’t have any power over their lives, and the only place men could have control was at home, and that’s the place where they reassert their dominance.
In this report by the South African Medical Research Council (see the link)
- 40% of men have been physically violent to a partner.
- 28% of men reported having perpetrated rape.
- Three-quarters of men who rape do it for the first time before the age of 20.
- About 1 in 30 men have been raped by a man
Violence against children
Taken exactly from the research
- Almost all children are subject to physical abuse at home. More than one in four experience times in childhood when this occurs daily or weekly. Sticks, belts and other implements are often used. Frequently children are injured.
- More than a third of girls have experienced sexual violence before the age of 18 (e.g. unwanted touching, forced sex, or being exploited into sex by much older men).
- 40% of victims who report rape to the police are girls under 18, and 15% are under the age of 12.
- 15% of children report times in their lives when one or both parents were too drunk to care for them, and one in two children experience emotional abuse, neglect or witness violence against their mothers at home.
http://www.mrc.ac.za/sites/default/files/attachments/2016-07-08/prev_rapedd041209.pdf
South African men raised more superior than a woman
Taken precisely from the research on the link above
South Africa’s men from across the racial spectrum are raised to see themselves as superior to women and taught that men should be tough, brave, strong and respected. Heavy drinking, carrying weapons and a readiness to defend honour with a fight are often seen as markers of manhood. The violence that ensues between men often has very severe consequences. With most men perceiving that women should submit to control by men, physical and sexual violence are used against women to demonstrate male power, and thus teach women ‘their place’, and to enforce it through punishment. Thus gender inequality legitimates male violence over women, as well as being accentuated by the use of such violence.
Exposure of children to violence creates anti-social behaviour
Taken precisely from the research on the link above
South African families are highly unusual by global norms. In South Africa, growing up as a child in a home with two biological parents is unusual. A majority of children are born outside marriage, and there is generally no expectation of fathers having a social involvement in the lives of these children. They often also provide no financial support. Frequently children are raised by family members who are not their biological parents. Without their parent’s protection, children are extremely vulnerable to abuse and neglect. Whilst this is a problem in its own right, it also gives rise to intergenerational cycling of violence. Girls exposed to physical, sexual and emotional trauma as children are at increased risk of re-victimisation as adults. Exposure of boys to abuse, neglect or sexual violence in childhood greatly increases the chance of their being violent as adolescents and adults and reduces their ability to form enduring emotional attachments. Trauma during childhood impacts on brain development, enhancing anti-social and psychopathic behaviour and reducing the ability to empathise.
Check out this article as well https://tdenchpatel.com/the-south-african-true-colours/
The title of the above article is Patriarchal societies and Apartheid
And lastly according to this article https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2017-05-15-statistics-sa-one-in-five-sa-women-experience-physical-violence-young-women-hard-hit-by-hivaids/
On average, one in five South African women older than 18 has experienced physical violence, but the picture of gender-based attacks varies according to marital status and wealth. Four in 10 divorced or separated women reported physical violence, as has one in three women in the poorest households. It’s a complex picture that emerges in Statistics SA’s 2016 Demographic and Health Survey released on Monday. And it is one that not only challenges societal attitudes of patriarchy and chauvinism, but also the effectiveness of government programmes and interventions.
My view on domestic violence and on men who want control
I feel that if we peel all the layers back like an onion, we’ll come to the core. The women who find themselves in a relationship with an abusive person and the abusive person both have one thing in common. A lack of self-worth.
Check out this article which has some relevance with the history of South Africa https://tdenchpatel.com/what-is-estimating-your-worthiness/
The raw issues in South Africa leading to people staying in abusive situations
The unemployment rate, teenage pregnancies, poor households, broken homes, desperation, the need to survive, lack of self-worth, lack of knowledge available, lack of publicised awareness are some of the reasons why people end up in toxic relationships. Through my observation in living in South African and returning 18 years later one thing that remains in most households is codependence, people living in a pattern within the family and not having the knowledge and resources to break the codependent habits successfully. With the violence, hijacking, robberies, rapes, assault and unemployment rate, even middle-class families are living with codependence. Check out this article on codependence https://tdenchpatel.com/is-your-family-codependent-what-is-your-role-who-does-it-affect/ The political system had never looked at rich or poor when apartheid ended. Here we are over eighteen years later. Check these articles out https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-48023890 and https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-94-010-0257-8_8
Domestic violence without physical abuse has been overlooked for years, and if you’ve been reading the string of articles in my blog, you will see what how it can damage a person’s life. Two such examples can be found on this link https://tdenchpatel.com/narcissists/ and https://tdenchpatel.com/the-power-of-affirmations/
Have a look at this study of gender-based violence in 141 countries.
T. Dench Patel
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Appreciate the recommendation. Let me try it out.
🙂