Here I was sitting and pondering on a topic on the list I’ve made to write a blog post,
But I’ve been staring at this blank, white page like a ghost.
This song, I wonder where you are has been playing for the last two days,
and if I know you, you’ll walk into my dreams like a blaze in the maze.
If you’re engaging with a person are you engaging with them because you’re truly interested in their answer or are you aiming for the weak spot to detonate? Just watch yourself to see where you’re stemming from when someone is responding to you. Are you deflecting what you’re reflecting or are you reflecting what you’re deflecting? – T. Dench Patel, 5 October 2020, 22:45 – T. Dench Patel, 5 October 2020, 22:45
The sleep that the body demanded, like seriously I have never felt the body feeling so like it didn’t want to wake up, I don’t recall ever feeling like that. My body felt slumped that it dragged my entire self into a deep sleep even when the alarm clock sounded for me to wake up. I wouldn’t say it was depression because that came in later on (lucky I am pretty good at not getting in a very downstate, I often draw a line on it, especially on this topic). I was the queen of drawing lines, but somewhere from these four years prior to this point most of the lines rubbed off and that really stood out.
…let people leave, it’s not personal. If they don’t want you, that doesn’t mean that you are at fault, it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy, it doesn’t mean anything. It simply means that what they want has changed (they want something else) or they’ve just chosen wrong and if that’s no longer you, don’t force it especially when someone has put a clear expiry date, without no more stories and drama. All they want is scot-free. – T. Dench Patel, 29 September 2020, 16:07
So I started to play stupid and I guess I ended up gunning myself down, because there was a catch twenty-two, if I stayed my smart self, I’d be gunned down by someone else and if I stayed stupid (didn’t see this one coming until it happened) I gunned myself down. – T. Dench Patel, 28 September 2020, 16:22
Rejection is merely showing you all the time that this isn’t what you’re deserving of, it’s best to let what rejects you leave because it would be living a lie and settling for something you’re saying you deserve when really that’s not the case.
The pressure is truly strong because people will say “Whose this person?” When really they should be saying, “Alright, that old person is now outdated, I trust that he/she is making the right decisions and therefore I trust that he/she is not coming from some sort of trauma,” and I myself will put my hand up at that.
The truth is a very sexy and irresistible thing when owned and recognised you hardly need to make an effort to wear it elegantly. – T. Dench Patel, 21 September 2020, 19:44
Okay, what I am about to tell you is something I won’t apologise for. Take it how you take it, but this information will very likely save your life one day if you follow its advice. Now, who am I to tell you that? I am someone who knows what’s it like to be at the receiving end of the wrong advice or the way someone has said something with confidence to have me believe them without it being necessarily true not once, not twice, … but countless times.
Then what happens? You keep going forward and growing i.e., for example, you now run a company, you’re married with or without kids, you’re on your tenth anniversary, from a Datsun to a Porsche, from a bicycle to a Harley Davidson, from broke to rich, broke to billion, broke to famous, rags to riches (I remember how much I liked this tv series when I was young). Then, what happens when we get all too familiar with what was once difficult for us to something that is our new norm? We can take many many parts of our life for granted.